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<title><![CDATA[24]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7044.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-11 13:31:55</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Let's drink something else. How much vermouth did you drink? Only the one. I must say it was dull. I drank two and didn't even taste them. What is there that's real? she said. Did you ever drink Armagnac and soda? That's real enough. Good. Let's try that. The waiter brought the Armagnac and the young man told him to bring a cold bottle of Perrier water instead of the syphon. The waiter poured two large Armagnacs and the young man put ice in the big glasses and poured in the Perrier. This will fix us, he said. It's a hell of a thing to drink before lunch though. The girl took a long sip. It's good, she said. It has a fresh clean healthy ugly taste. She took another long sip. I can really feel it. Can you? Yes, he said and took a deep breath. I can feel it. She drank from the glass again and smiled and the laugh wrinkles came at the corner of her eyes. The cold Perrier had made the heavy brandy alive. For heroes, he said. I don't mind being a hero, she said. We're not like other people. We don't have to call each other darling or my dear or my love nor any of that to make a point. Darling and my dearest and my very dearest and all that are obscene to me and we call each other by our Christian names. You know what I'm trying to say. Why do we have to do other things like everyone does? You're a very intelligent girl. All right Davie, she said. Why do we have to be stuffy? Why don't we keep on and travel now when it can never be more fun? We'll do everything you want. If you'd been a European with a lawyer my money would have been yours any way. It is yours. The hell with it. All right. The hell with it. But we'll spend it and I think it's wonderful. You can write afterwards. That way we can have the fun before I have a baby for one thing. How do I know when I'll have a baby even? Now it's all getting dull and dusty talking about it. Can't we just do it and not talk about it? What if I want to write? The minute you're not going to do something it will probably make you want to do it. Then write, stupid. You didn't say you wouldn't write. Nobody said anything about worrying if you wrote. Did they? But somewhere something had been said and now he could not remember it because he had been thinking ahead. If you want to write go ahead and I'll amuse myself. I don't have to leave you when you write do I? But where would you like us to go now when people begin to come here? Anywhere you want to go. Will you do it, David? For how long? For as long as we want. Six months. Nine months. A year. All right, he said. Really? Sure. You're awfully good. If I didn't love you for anything else I'd love you for decisions. They're easy to make when you haven't seen how too many of them can turn out. He drank the hero drink but it did not taste so good and he ordered a fresh bottle of cold Perrier and made a short drink without ice. Make me one please. Short like yours. And then let's let it start and have lunch. Chapter Three THAT NIGHT IN BED when they were still awake she said in the dark, We don't always have to do the devil things either. Please know that. I know. I love it the way we were before and I'm always your girl. Don't ever be lonely. You know that. I'm how you want but I'm how I want too and it isn't as though it wasn't for us both. You don't have to talk. I'm only telling a story to put you to sleep because you're my good lovely husband and my brother too. I love you and when we go to Africa I'll be your African girl too. Are we going to Africa? Aren't we? Don't you remember? That was what it was about today. So we could go there or anywhere. Isn't that where we're going? Why didn't you say it? I didn't want to interfere. I said wherever you wanted. I'd go anywhere. But I thought that was where you wanted. It's too early to go to Africa now. It's the big rains and after wards the grass is too high and it's very cold. We could go to bed and keep warm and hear the rain on a tin roof. No, it's too early. The roads turn to mud and you can't get around and everything is like a swamp and the grass gets so tall you cans t see. Then where should we go? We can go to Spain but Sevilla is over and so is San Isidro in Madrid and it's early for there too. It's too early for the Basque coast. It's still cold and rainy. It rains everywhere there now. Isn't there a hot part where we could swim the way we do here? 'You can't swim in Spain the way we do here. You'd get arrested. What a bore. Let's wait to go there then because I want us to get darker. Why do you want to be so dark? I don't know. Why do you want anything? Right now it's the thing that I want most. That we don't have I mean. Doesn't it make you excited to have me getting so dark? Uh-huh. I love it. 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I can because I'm lion color and they can go dark. But I want every part of me dark and it's getting that way and you'll be darker than an Indian and that takes us further away from other people. You see why it's important. What will we be? I don't know. Maybe we'll just be us. Only changed. That's maybe the best thing. And we will keep on won't we? Sure. We can go over by the Est6rel and explore and find another place the way we found this one. We can do that. There are lots of wild places and nobody is there in the summer. We could get a car and then we could go everywhere. Spain too when we want. Once we're really dark it won't be hard to keep unless we had to live in towns. We don't want to be in towns in the summer. How dark are you going to get?]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[23]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7043.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-11 11:53:59</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Do we want another? David asked. I think so. Don't you? Sure. You don't have to. Do you want a fine? No. I'd rather drink the wine. Do you have to work tomorrow? We'll see. Please work if you feel like it. And tonight? We'll see about tonight. It's been such an arduous day. In the night it was very dark and the wind had risen and they could hear it in the pines. David? Yes. How are you girl? I'm fine. 84 85 Let me feel your hair girl. Who cut it? Was it Jean? It's cut so full and has so much body and it's the same as mine. Let me kiss you girl. Oh you have lovely lips. Shut your eyes girl. He did not shut his eyes but it was dark in the room and out side the wind was high in the trees. You know it isn't so easy to be a girl if you're really one. If you really feel things. I know. Nobody knows. I tell you so when you're my girl. It's not that you're insatiable. I'm satiable so easily. It's just some feel and others don't. People lie about it I think. But it s so nice just to feel and hold you. I'm so happy. Just be my girl and love me the way I love you. Love me more. The way you can now. You now. Yes you. Please you. They were dropping down the slope toward Cannes and the wind was heavy as they came onto the plain and skirted the deserted beaches, the tall grass bending and flattening as they crossed the bridge over the river and picked up speed on the last stretch of fast road before the town. David found the bottle, which was cold and wrapped in a towel, and took a long drink and felt the car leave the work behind and move away and up the small rise the black road was making. He had not worked this morning and now when she had driven them through the town and back into the country, he uncorked the bottle and drank again and offered it to her. I don't need it, Catherine said. I feel too good. Very well. They passed Golfe-Juan with the good bistro and the small open bar and then were through the pine woods and moving along the raw yellow beach of Juan-les-Pins. They crossed the small peninsula on the fast black road and passed through Antibes driving beside the railway and then out through the town and beyond the port and the square tower of the old defenses and came out again into open country. It never lasts, she said. I always eat that stretch too fast. They stopped and ate lunch in the lee of an old stone wall that was part of the ruin of some building hard by the side of a clear stream that came out of the mountains and crossed the wild plain on its way to the sea. The wind came hard out of a funnel in the mountains. They had spread a blanket on the ground and they sat close together against the wall and looked out across the waste country to the sea that was flat and scoured by the wind. It wasn't much of a place to come to, Catherine said. I don't know what I thought it would be like. They stood up and looked up at the hills with their poised villages and the gray and purple mountains behind. The wind whipped in their hair and Catherine pointed out a road that she had once driven into the high country. We could have gone somewhere up in there, she said. But it's so closed in and picturesque. I hate those hanging villages. This is a good place, David said. It's a fine stream and we couldn't have a better wall. You're being nice. You don't have to be. It's a good lee and I like the place. We'll turn our back on all the picturesque. They ate stuffed eggs, roast chicken, pickles, fresh long bread that they broke in pieces and spread Sovora mustard on and they drank rose. Do you feel good now? Catherine asked. Sure. And you haven't felt bad? 86 87 Not even about anything I said? David took a drink of the wine and said, No. I haven't thought about it. She stood up and looked into the wind so that it blew her sweater against her breasts and whipped her hair and then she looked down at him with her black brown face and smiled. She turned around then and looked out toward the sea that was flattened and wrinkled by the wind. Let's go get the papers in Cannes and read them in the cafe, she said. You want to show off. Why shouldn't I? 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Do you mind if we do? NC), Devil. Why would I? I didn't want to if you didn't. You said you wanted to. I want to do what you want. I can't be more compliant than that can I? Nobody wants you to be compliant. Can we stop it? All I wanted to be was good today. Why spoil everything?]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[21]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7042.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-3 15:37:24</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[There's nothing except through yourself, she said. And I don't want to die and it be gone. You have every mile we drove. All the yellow country and the white hills and the chaff blowing and the long lines of poplars by the road. You know what you saw and what you felt and it's yours. Don't you have le Grau du Roi and Aigues Mortes and all the Camargue that we rode through on our bikes? This will be the same. But what about when I'm dead? Then you're dead. But I can't stand to be dead. Then don't let it happen till it happens. Look at things and listen and feel. What if I can't remember? He had spoken about death as though it did not matter. She drank the wine and looked at the thick stone walls in which there were only small windows with bars high up that gave onto a narrow street where the sun did not shine. The doorway, though, gave onto an arcade and the bright sunlight on the worn stones of the square. When you start to live outside yourself, Catherine said, it's all dangerous. Maybe I'd better go back into our world, your and my world that I made up; we made up I mean. I was a great success in that world. It was only four weeks ago. I think maybe I will be again. The salad came and then there was its greenness on the dark table and the sun on the plaza beyond the arcade. Do you feel better? David asked. Yes, she said. I was thinking so much about myself that I was getting impossible again, like a painter and I was my own picture. It was awful. Now that I'm all right again I hope it still lasts. It had rained hard and now the heat was broken. They were in the cool shutter-slatted dimness of the big room in The Palace and had bathed together in the deep water in the long deep tub and then had turned the plug and let the full force of the water splash and flow over them, swirling as it drained away. They had blotted each other with the huge towels and then come to the bed. As they lay on the bed there was a cool breeze that came through the slats of the blinds and moved over them. Catherine lay propped on her elbows with her chin on her hands. Do you think it would be fun if I went back to being a boy again? It wouldn't be any trouble. I like you the way you are now. It's sort of tempting. But I shouldn't do it in Spain I suppose. It's such a formal country. Stay the way you are. 'What makes your voice be different when you say it? I think I'll do it. No. Not now. Thank you for the not now. Should I make love this time as a girl and then do it? You're a girl. You are a girl. You're my lovely girl Catherine. Yes I am your girl and I love you and I love you and I love you. Don't talk. Yes I will. I'm your girl Catherine and I love you please I love you always always always— You don't have to keep saying it. I can tell. I like to say it and I have to say it and I've been a fine girl and a good girl and I will again. I promise I will again. You don't have to say it. Oh yes I do. I say it and I said it and you said it. You now please. Please you. They lay quiet for a long time and she said, I love you so much and you're such a good husband. You blessed. 'Was I what you wanted? What do you think? I hope I was. You were. I promised truly and I will and I'll keep it. Now can I be a boy again? Why? Just for a little while. Why? I loved it and I don't miss it but I'd like to be again in bed at night if it isn't bad for you. Can I be again? If it's not bad for you? The hell with if it's bad for me. Then can I? Do you really want to? He had kept from saying have to so she said, I don't have to but please if it's all right. Can I please? All right. He kissed her and held her to him. Nobody can tell which way I am but us. I'll only be a boy at night and won't embarrass you. Don't worry about it please. All right, boy. I lied when I said I didn't have to. It came so suddenly today. He shut his eyes and did not think and she kissed him and it had gone further now and he could tell and feel the desperateness. Now you change. Please. Don't make me change you. Must I? All right I will. You're changed now. You are. You did it too. You are. You did it too. I did it to you but you did it. Yes you did. You're my sweet dearest darling Catherine. You're my sweet my lovely Catherine. You're my girl my dearest only girl. Oh thank you thank you my girl— She lay there a long time and he thought that she had gone to sleep. Then she moved away very slowly lifting herself lightly on her elbows and said, I have a wonderful surprise for myself for tomorrow. I'm going to the Prado in the morning and see all the pictures as a boy. I give up, David said. Chapter Seven IN ThE MORNING he got up while she was still sleeping and went out into the bright early morning freshness of the high plateau air. He walked in the street up the hill to the Plaza Santa Ana and had breakfast at a cafe and read the local papers. Catherine had wanted to be at the Prado at ten when it opened and before he left he had set the alarm to wake her at nine. Outside on the street, walking up the hill he had thought of her sleeping, the beautiful rumpled head that looked like an ancient coin lying against the white sheet, the pillow pushed away, the upper sheet showing the curves of her body. It lasted a month, he thought, or almost. And the other time from le Grau du Roi to Hendaye was two months. No, less, because she started thinking of it in Nimes. It wasn't two months. We've been married three months and two weeks and I hope I make her happy always but in this I do not think anybody can take care of anybody. It's enough to stay in it. The difference is that she asked this time, he told himself. She did ask. 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He opened and read mail while he waited through the lengthy, many-windowed formalities of cashing a draft which had been sent from his bank to this, their Madrid correspondent. Finally with the heavy notes buttoned into his jacket pocket he came out into the glare again and stopped at the newsstand to buy the English and American papers that had come in on the morning Sud Express. He bought some bullfight weeklies to wrap the English language papers in and then walked down the Carrera San Geronimo to the cool friendly morning gloom of the Buffet Italianos. There was no one in the place yet and he remembered that he had made no rendezvous with Catherine. What will you drink? the waiter asked him. Beer, he said. This isn't a beer place.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[36]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7041.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-11 8:19:32</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[_Pues_ five for us. Two here. Canst thou not see the other at the far end? Look there toward the bridge. See the box? Look! Dost see? He pointed. Then there were eight below for Pablo. I watched that post for the _Ingl_. Pilar grunted. Then she said violently and raging, What passes with that _Ingl?_ What is he obscenitying off under that bridge. _Vaya mandanga!_ Is he building a bridge or blowing one? She raised her head and looked down at Anselmo crouched behind the stone marker. Hey, _viejo!_ she shouted. What passes with thy obscenity of an _Ingl?_ Patience, woman, Anselmo called up, holding the wire lightly but firmly. He is terminating his work. But what in the name of the great whore does he take so much time about? Es muy _concienzudo!_ Anselmo shouted. It is a scientific labor. I obscenity in the milk of science, Pilar raged to the gypsy. Let the filth-faced obscenity blow it and be done. Maria! she shouted in her deep voice up the hill. Thy _Ingl_-- and she shouted a flood of obscenity about Jordan's imaginary actions under the bridge. Calm yourself, woman, Anselmo called from the road. He is doing an enormous work. He is finishing it now. The hell with it, Pilar raged. It is speed that counts. Just then they all heard firing start down the road where Pablo was holding the post he had taken. Pilar stopped cursing and listened. Ay, she said. Ayee. Ayee. That's it. Robert Jordan heard it as he swung the coil of wire up onto the bridge with one hand and then pulled himself up after it. As his knees rested on the edge of the iron of the bridge and his hands were on the surface he heard the machine gun firing around the bend below. It was a different sound from Pablo's automatic rifle. He got to his feet, leaned over, passed his coil of wire clear and commenced to pay out wire as he walked backwards and sideways along the bridge. He heard the firing and as he walked he felt it in the pit of his stomach as though it echoed on his own diaphragm. It was closer now as he walked and he looked back at the bend of the road. But it was still clear of any car, or tank or men. It was still clear when he was halfway to the end of the bridge. It was still clear when he was three quarters of the way, his wire running clear and unfouled, and it was still clear as he climbed around behind the sentry box, holding his wire out to keep it from catching on the iron work. Then he was on the road and it was still clear below on the road and then he was moving fast backwards up the little washed-out gully by the lower side of the road as an outfielder goes backwards for a long fly ball, keeping the wire taut, and now he was almost opposite Anselmo's stone and it was still clear below the bridge. Then he heard the truck coming down the road and he saw it over his shoulder just coming onto the long slope and he swung his wrist once around the wire and yelled to Anselmo, Blow her! and he dug his heels in and leaned back hard onto the tension of the wire with a turn of it around his wrist and the noise of the truck was coming behind and ahead there was the road with the dead sentry and the long bridge and the stretch of road below, still clear and then there was a cracking roar and the middle of the bridge rose up in the air like a wave breaking and he felt the blast from the explosion roll back against him as he dove on his face in the pebbly gully with his hands holding tight over his head. His face was down against the pebbles as the bridge settled where it had risen and the familiar yellow smell of it rolled over him in acrid smoke and then it commenced to rain pieces of steel. After the steel stopped falling he was still alive and he raised his head and looked across the bridge. The center section of it was gone. There were jagged pieces of steel on the bridge with their bright, new torn edges and ends and these were all over the road. The truck had stopped up the road about a hundred yards. The driver and the two men who had been with him were running toward a culvert. Fernando was still lying against the bank and he was still breathing. His arms straight by his sides, his hands relaxed. Anselmo lay face down behind the white marking stone. His left arm was doubled under his head and his right arm was stretched straight out. The loop of wire was still around his right fist. Robert Jordan got to his feet, crossed the road, knelt by him and made sure that he was dead. He did not turn him over to see what the piece of steel had done. He was dead and that was all. He looked very small, dead, Robert Jordan thought. He looked small and gray-headed and Robert Jordan thought, I wonder how he ever carried such big loads if that is the size he really was. Then he saw the shape of the calves and the thighs in the tight, gray herdsman's breeches and the worn soles of the rope-soled shoes and he picked up Anselmo's carbine and the two sacks, practically empty now and went over and picked up the rifle that lay beside Fernando. He kicked a jagged piece of steel off the surface of the road. Then he swung the two rifles over his shoulder, holding them by the muzzles, and started up the slope into the timber. He did not look back nor did he even look across the bridge at the road. They were still firing around the bend below but he cared nothing about that now. He was coughing from the TNT fumes and he felt numb all through himself. He put one of the rifles down by Pilar where she lay behind the tree. She looked and saw that made three rifles that she had again. You are too high up here, he said. There's a truck up the road where you can't see it. They thought it was planes. You better get farther down. I'm going down with Agust to cover Pablo. The old one? she asked him, looking at his face. Dead. He coughed again, wrackingly, and spat on the ground. Thy bridge is blown, _Ingl_, Pilar looked at him. Don't forget that. I don't forget anything, he said. You have a big voice, he said to Pilar. I have heard thee bellow. Shout up to the Maria and tell her that I am all right. We lost two at the sawmill, Pilar said, trying to make him understand. So I saw, Robert Jordan said. Did you do something stupid? Go and obscenity thyself, _Ingl_, Pilar said. Fernando and Eladio were men, too. Why don't you go up with the horses? Robert Jordan said. I can cover here better than thee. Thou art to cover Pablo. The hell with Pablo. Let him cover himself with _mierda_. Nay, _Ingl_. He came back. He has fought much below there. Thou hast not listened? He is fighting now. Against something bad. Do you not hear? I'll cover him. But obscenity all of you. Thou and Pablo both. _Ingl_, Pilar said. Calm thyself. I have been with thee in this as no one could be. Pablo did thee a wrong but he returned. If I had had the exploder the old man would not have been killed. I could have blown it from here. If, if, if-- Pilar said. The anger and the emptiness and the hate that had come with the let-down after the bridge, when he had looked up from where he had lain and crouching, seen Anselmo dead, were still all through him. In him, too, was despair from the sorrow that soldiers turn to hatred in order that they may continue to be soldiers. Now it was over he was lonely, detached and unelated and he hated every one he saw. If there had been no snow-- Pilar said. And then, not suddenly, as a physical release could have been (if the woman would have put her arm around him, say) but slowly and from his head he began to accept it and let the hate go out. Sure, the snow. That had done it. The snow. Done itto others. Once you saw it again as it was to others, once you got rid of your own self, the always ridding of self that you had to do in war. Where there could be no self. Where yourself is only to be lost. Then, from his losing of it, he heard Pilar say, Sordo-- What? he said. Sordo-- Yes, Robert Jordan said. He grinned at her, a cracked, stiff, too-tightened-facial-tendoned grin. Forget it. I was wrong. I am sorry, woman. Let us do this well and all together. And the bridge _is_ blown, as thou sayest. Yes. Thou must think of things in their place. Then I go now to Agust. Put thy gypsy much farther down so that he can see well up the road. Give those guns to Primitivo and take this _muina_. Let me show thee. Keep the _muina_, Pilar said. We will not be here any time. Pablo should come now and we will be going. Rafael, Robert Jordan said, come down here with me. Here. Good. See those coming out of the culvert. There, above the truck? Coming toward the truck? Hit me one of those. Sit. Take it easy. The gypsy aimed carefully and fired and as he jerked the bolt back and ejected the shell Robert Jordan said, Over. You threw against the rock above. See the rock dust? Lower, by two feet. Now, careful. They're running. Good. _Sigue tirando_. I got one, the gypsy said. The man was down in the road halfway between the culvert and the truck. The other two did not stop to drag him. They ran for the culvert and ducked in. Don't shoot at him, Robert Jordan said. Shoot for the top part of a front tire on the truck. So if you miss you'll hit the engine. Good. He watched with the glasses. A little lower. Good. You shoot like hell. _Mucho! Mucho!_ Shoot me the top of the radiator. Anywhere on the radiator. Thou art a champion. Look. Don't let anything come past that point there. 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Nay. The truck is already sick, Robert Jordan said. Hold thy fire until anything comes down the road. Start firing when it is opposite the culvert. Try to hit the driver. That you all should fire, then, he spoke to Pilar who had come farther down the slope with Primitivo. You are wonderfully placed here. See how that steepness guards thy flank? That you should get about thy business with Agust, Pilar said. Desist from thy lecture. I have seen terrain in my time. Put Primitivo farther up there, Robert Jordan said. There. See, man? This side of where the bank steepens. Leave me, said Pilar. Get along, _Ingl_. Thou and thy perfection. Here there is no problem. Just then they heard the planes.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[34]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7040.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-11 8:16:13</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[He is up above where they are deploying for the attack, he said. I gave it to his Chief of Staff. He signed for it. Here. He handed Gomez the receipted envelope. Gomez gave it to Andr, who looked at it and put it inside his shirt. What is the name of him who signed? he asked. Duval, Vicente said. Good, said Andr. He was one of the three to whom I might give it. Should we wait for an answer? Gomez asked Andr. It might be best. Though where I will find the _Ingl_ and the others after that of the bridge neither God knows. Come wait with me, Vicente said, until the General returns. And I will get thee coffee. Thou must be hungry. And these tanks, Gomez said to him. They were passing the branch-covered, mud-colored tanks, each with two deep-ridged tracks over the pine needles showing where they had swung and backed from the road. Their 45-mm. guns jutted horizontally under the branches and the drivers and gunners in their leather coats and ridged helmets sat with their backs against the trees or lay sleeping on the ground. These are the reserve, Vicente said. Also these troops are in reserve. Those who commence the attack are above. They are many, Andr said. Yes, Vicente said. It is a full division. Inside the dugout Duval, holding the opened dispatch from Robert Jordan in his left hand, glancing at his wrist watch on the same hand, reading the dispatch for the fourth time, each time feeling the sweat come out from under his armpit and run down his flank, said into the telephone, Get me position Segovia, then. He's left? Get me position Avila. He kept on with the phone. It wasn't any good. He had talked to both brigades. Golz had been up to inspect the dispositions for the attack and was on his way to an observation post. He called the observation post and he was not there. Get me planes one, Duval said, suddenly taking all responsibility. He would take responsibility for holding it up. It was better to hold it up. You could not send them to a surprise attack against an enemy that was waiting for it. You couldn't do it. It was just murder. You couldn't. You mustn't. No matter what. They could shoot him if they wanted. He would call the airfield directly and get the bombardment cancelled. But suppose it's just a holding attack? Suppose we were supposed to draw off all that material and those forces? Suppose that is what it is for? They never tell you it is a holding attack when you make it. Cancel the call to planes one, he told the signaller. Get me the Sixty-Ninth Brigade observation post. He was still calling there when he heard the first sound of the planes. It was just then he got through to the observation post. Yes, Golz said quietly. He was sitting leaning back against the sandbag, his feet against a rock, a cigarette hung from his lower lip and he was looking up and over his shoulder while he was talking. He was seeing the expanding wedges of threes, silver and thundering in the sky that were coming over the far shoulder of the mountain where the first sun was striking. He watched them come shining and beautiful in the sun. He saw the twin circles of light where the sun shone on the propellers as they came. Yes, he said into the telephone, speaking in French because it was Duval on the wire. _Nous sommes foutus. Oui. Comme toujours. Oui. C'est dommage. Oui_. It's a shame it came too late. His eyes, watching the planes coming, were very proud. He saw the red wing markings now and he watched their steady, stately roaring advance. This was how it could be. These were our planes. They had come, crated on ships, from the Black Sea through the Straits of Marmora, through the Dardanelles, through the Mediterranean and to here, unloaded lovingly at Alicante, assembled ably, tested and found perfect and now flown in lovely hammering precision, the V's tight and pure as they came now high and silver in the morning sun to blast those ridges across there and blow them roaring high so that we can go through. Golz knew that once they had passed overhead and on, the bombs would fall, looking like porpoises in the air as they tumbled. And then the ridge tops would spout and roar in jumping clouds and disappear in one great blowing cloud. Then the tanks would grind clanking up those two slopes and after them would go his two brigades. And if it had been a surprise they could go on and down and over and through, pausing, cleaning up, dealing with, much to do, much to be done intelligently with the tanks helping, with the tanks wheeling and returning, giving covering fire and others bringing the attackers up then slipping on and over and through and pushing down beyond. This was how it would be if there was no treason and if all did what they should. There were the two ridges, and there were the tanks ahead and there were his two good brigades ready to leave the woods and here came the planes now. Everything he had to do had been done as it should be. But as he watched the planes, almost up to him now, he felt sick at his stomach for he knew from having heard Jordan's dispatch over the phone that there would be no one on those two ridges. They'd be withdrawn a little way below in narrow trenches to escape the fragments, or hiding in the timber and when the bombers passed they'd get back up there with their machine guns and their automatic weapons and the anti-tank guns Jordan had said went up the road, and it would be one famous balls up more. But the planes, now coming deafeningly, were how it could have been and Golz watching them, looking up, said into the telephone, No. _Rien a faire. Rien. Faut pas penser. Faut accepter_. Golz watched the planes with his hard proud eyes that knew how things could be and how they would be instead and said, proud of how they could be, believing in how they could be, even if they never were, _Bon. Nous ferons notre petit possible_, and hung up. But Duval did not hear him. Sitting at the table holding the receiver, all he heard was the roar of the planes and he thought, now, maybe this time, listen to them come, maybe the bombers will blow them all off, maybe we will get a break-through, maybe he will get the reserves he asked for, maybe this is it, maybe this is the time. Go on. Come on. Go on. The roar was such that he could not hear what he was thinking. Robert Jordan lay behind the trunk of a pine tree on the slope of the hill above the road and the bridge and watched it become daylight. He loved this hour of the day always and now he watched it; feeling it gray within him, as though he were a part of the slow lightening that comes before the rising of the sun; when solid things darken and space lightens and the lights that have shone in the night go yellow and then fade as the day comes. The pine trunks below him were hard and clear now, their trunks solid and brown and the road was shiny with a wisp of mist over it. The dew had wet him and the forest floor was soft and he felt the give of the brown, dropped pine needles under his elbows. Below he saw, through the light mist that rose from the stream bed, the steel of the bridge, straight and rigid across the gap, with the wooden sentry boxes at each end. But as he looked the structure of the bridge was still spidery and fine in the mist that hung over the stream. He saw the sentry now in his box as he stood, his back with the hanging blanket coat topped by the steel casque on his head showing as he leaned forward over the hole-punched petrol tin of the brazier, warming his hands. Robert Jordan heard the stream, far down in the rocks, and he saw a faint, thin smoke that rose from the sentry box. He looked at his watch and thought, I wonder if Andr got through to Golz? If we are going to blow it I would like to breathe very slowly and slow up the time again and feel it. Do you think he made it? Andr? And if he did would they call it off? If they had time to call it off? _Qu?va_. Do not worry. They will or they won't. There are no more decisions and in a little while you will know. Suppose the attack is successful. Golz said it could be. That there was a possibility. With our tanks coming down that road, the people coming through from the right and down and past La Granja and the whole left of the mountains turned. Why don't you ever think of how it is to win? You've been on the defensive for so long that you can't think of that. Sure. But that was before all that stuff went up this road. That was before all the planes came. Don't be so na飗e. But remember this that as long as we can hold them here we keep the fascists tied up. They can't attack any other country until they finish with us and they can never finish with us. If the French help at all, if only they leave the frontier open and if we get planes from America they can never finish with us. Never, if we get anything at all. These people will fight forever if they're well armed. No you must not expect victory here, not for several years maybe. This is just a holding attack. You must not get illusions about it now. Suppose we got a break-through today? This is our first big attack. Keep your sense of proportion. But what if we should have it? Don't get excited, he told himself. Remember what went up the road. You've done what you could about that. We should have portable short-wave sets, though. We will, in time. But we haven't yet. You just watch now and do what you should. Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today. It's been that way all this year. It's been that way so many times. All of this war is that way. You are getting very pompous in the early morning, he told himself. Look there what's coming now. He saw the two men in blanket capes and steel helmets come around the corner of the road walking toward the bridge, their rifles slung over their shoulders. One stopped at the far end of the bridge and was out of sight in the sentry box. The other came on across the bridge, walking slowly and heavily. He stopped on the bridge and spat into the gorge, then came on slowly to the near end of the bridge where the other sentry spoke to him and then started off back over the bridge. The sentry who was relieved walked faster than the other had done (because he's going to coffee, Robert Jordan thought) but he too spat down into the gorge. I wonder if that is superstition? Robert Jordan thought. I'll have to take me a spit in that gorge too. If I can spit by then. No. It can't be very powerful medicine. It can't work. I'll have to prove it doesn't work before I am out there. The new sentry had gone inside the box and sat down. His rifle with the bayonet fixed was leaning against the wall. Robert Jordan took his glasses from his shirt pocket and turned the eyepieces until the end of the bridge showed sharp and gray-painted-metal clear. Then he moved them onto the sentry box. The sentry sat leaning against the wall. His helmet hung on a peg and his face showed clearly. Robert Jordan saw he was the same man who had been there on guard two days before in the afternoon watch. He was wearing the same knitted stocking-cap. And he had not shaved. His cheeks were sunken and his cheekbones prominent. He had bushy eyebrows that grew together in the center. He looked sleepy and as Robert Jordan watched him he yawned. Then he took out a tobacco pouch and a packet of papers and rolled himself a cigarette. He tried to make a lighter work and finally put it in his pocket and went over to the brazier, leaned over, reached inside, brought up a piece of charcoal, juggled it in one hand while he blew on it, then lit the cigarette and tossed the lump of charcoal back into the brazier. Robert Jordan, looking through the Zeiss 8-power glasses, watched his face as he leaned against the wall of the sentry box drawing on the cigarette. Then he took the glasses down, folded them together and put them in his pocket. I won't look at him again, he told himself. He lay there and watched the road and tried not to think at all. A squirrel chittered from a pine tree below him and Robert Jordan watched the squirrel come down the tree trunk, stopping on his way down to turn his head and look toward where the man was watching. He saw the squirrel's eyes, small and bright, and watched his tail jerk in excitement. Then the squirrel crossed to another tree, moving on the ground in long, small-pawed, tail-exaggerated bounds. On the tree trunk he looked back at Robert Jordan, then pulled himself around the trunk and out of sight. Then Robert Jordan heard the squirrel chitter from a high branch of the pine tree and he watched him there, spread flat along the branch, his tail jerking. Robert Jordan looked down through the pines to the sentry box again. He would like to have had the squirrel with him in his pocket. He would like to have had anything that he could touch. He rubbed his elbows against the pine needles but it was not the same. Nobody knows how lonely you can be when you do this. Me, though, I know. I hope that Rabbit will get out of this all right. Stop that now. Yes, sure. But I can hope that and I do. That I blow it well and that she gets out all right. Good. Sure. Just that. That is all I want now. He lay there now and looked away from the road and the sentry box and across to the far mountain. Just do not think at all, he told himself. He lay there quietly and watched the morning come. It was a fine early summer morning and it came very fast now in the end of May. Once a motorcyclist in a leather coat and all-leather helmet with an automatic rifle in a holster by his left leg came across the bridge and went on up the road. Once an ambulance crossed the bridge, passed below him, and went up the road. But that was all. He smelled the pines and he heard the stream and the bridge showed clear now and beautiful in the morning light. He lay there behind the pine tree, with the submachine gun across his left forearm, and he never looked at the sentry box again until, long after it seemed that it was never coming, that nothing could happen on such a lovely late May morning, he heard the sudden, clustered, thudding of the bombs. As he heard the bombs, the first thumping noise of them, before the echo of them came back in thunder from the mountain, Robert Jordan drew in a long breath and lifted the submachine gun from where it lay. His arm felt stiff from its weight and his fingers were heavy with reluctance. The man in the sentry box stood up when he heard the bombs. Robert Jordan saw him reach for his rifle and step forward out of the box listening. He stood in the road with the sun shining on him. The knitted cap was on the side of his head and the sun was on his unshaved face as he looked up into the sky toward where the planes were bombing. There was no mist on the road now and Robert Jordan saw the man, clearly and sharply, standing there on the road looking up at the sky. The sun shone bright on him through the trees. Robert Jordan felt his own breath tight now as though a strand of wire bound his chest and, steadying his elbows, feeling the corrugations of the forward grip against his fingers, he put the oblong of the foresight, settled now in the notch of the rear, onto the center of the man's chest and squeezed the trigger gently. He felt the quick, liquid, spastic lurching of the gun against his shoulder and on the road the man, looking surprised and hurt, slid forward on his knees and his forehead doubled to the road. His rifle fell by him and lay there with one of the man's fingers twisted through the trigger guard, his wrist bent forward. The rifle lay, bayonet forward on the road. Robert Jordan looked away from the man lying with his head doubled under on the road to the bridge, and the sentry box at the other end. He could not see the other sentry and he looked down the slope to the right where he knew Agust was hidden. Then he heard Anselmo shoot, the shot smashing an echo back from the gorge. Then he heard him shoot again. With that second shot came the cracking boom of grenades from around the corner below the bridge. Then there was the noise of grenades from well up the road to the left. Then he heard rifle-firing up the road and from below came the noise of Pablo's cavalry automatic rifle spat-spat-spat-spatting into the noise of grenades. He saw Anselmo scrambling down the steep cut to the far end of the bridge and he slung the submachine gun over his shoulder and picked up the two heavy packs from behind the pine trunks and with one in each hand, the packs pulling his arms so that he felt the tendons would pull out of his shoulders, he ran lurching down the steep slope to the road. As he ran he heard Agust shouting, _Buena caza, Ingl. Buena caza!_ and he thought, Nice hunting, like hell, nice hunting, and just then he heard Anselmo shoot at the far end of the bridge, the noise of the shot clanging in the steel girders. He passed the sentry where he lay and ran onto the bridge, the packs swinging. The old man came running toward him, holding his carbine in one hand. _Sin novedad_, he shouted. There's nothing wrong. _Tuve que rematarlo_. I had to finish him. Robert Jordan, kneeling, opening the packs in the center of the bridge taking out his material, saw that tears were running down Anselmo's cheeks through the gray beard stubble. _Yo mat?uno tambien_, he said to Anselmo. I killed one too, and jerked his head toward where the sentry lay hunched over in the road at the end of the bridge. Yes, man, yes, Anselmo said. We have to kill them and we kill them. Robert Jordan was climbing down into the framework of the bridge. The girders were cold and wet with dew under his hands and he climbed carefully, feeling the sun on his back, bracing himself in a bridge truss, hearing the noise of the tumbling water below him, hearing firing, too much firing, up the road at the upper post. He was sweating heavily now and it was cool under the bridge. He had a coil of wire around one arm and a pair of pliers hung by a thong from his wrist. Hand me that down a package at a time, _viejo_, he called up to Anselmo. The old man leaned far over the edge handing down the oblong blocks of explosive and Robert Jordan reached up for them, shoved them in where he wanted them, packed them close, braced them, Wedges, _viejo!_ Give me wedges! smelling the fresh shingle smell of the new whittled wedges as he tapped them in tight to hold the charge between the girders. Now as he worked, placing, bracing, wedging, lashing tight with wire, thinking only of demolition, working fast and skillfully as a surgeon works, he heard a rattle of firing from below on the road. Then there was the noise of a grenade. Then another, booming through the rushing noise the water made. Then it was quiet from that direction. Damn, he thought. I wonder what hit them then? There was still firing up the road at the upper post. Too damned much firing, and he was lashing two grenades side by side on top of the braced blocks of explosive, winding wire over their corrugations so they would hold tight and firm and lashing it tight; twisting it with the pliers. He felt of the whole thing and then, to make it more solid, tapped in a wedge above the grenades that blocked the whole charge firmly in against the steel. The other side now, _viejo_, he shouted up to Anselmo and climbed across through the trestling, like a bloody Tarzan in a rolled steel forest, he thought, and then coming out from under the dark, the stream tumbling below him, he looked up and saw Anselmo's face as he reached the packages of explosive down to him. Goddamn good face, he thought. Not crying now. That's all to the good. And one side done. This side now and we're done. This will drop it like what all. Come on. Don't get excited. Do it. Clean and fast as the last one. Don't fumble with it. Take your time. Don't try to do it faster than you can. You can't lose now. Nobody can keep you from blowing one side now. You're doing it just the way you should. This is a cool place. Christ, it feels cool as a wine cellar and there's no crap. 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This is a dream bridge. A bloody dream bridge. It's the old man on top who's in a bad spot. Don't try to do it faster than you can. I wish that shooting would be over up above. Give me some wedges, _viejo_. I don't like that shooting still. Pilar has got in trouble there. Some of the post must have been out. Out back; or behind the mill. They're still shooting. That means there's somebody still at the mill. And all that damned sawdust. Those big piles of sawdust. Sawdust, when it's old and packed, is good stuff to fight behind. There must be several of them still. It's quiet below with Pablo. I wonder what that second flare-up was. It must have been a car or a motorcyclist. I hope to God they don't have any armored cars come up or any tanks. Go on. Put it in just as fast as you can and wedge it tight and lash it fast. You're shaking, like a Goddamn woman. What the hell is the matter with you? You're trying to do it too fast. I'll bet that Goddamn woman up above isn't shaking. That Pilar. Maybe she is too. She sounds as though she were in plenty trouble. She'll shake if she gets in enough. Like everybody bloody else. He leaned out and up into the sunlight and as he reached his hand up to take what Anselmo handed him, his head now above the noise of the falling water, the firing increased sharply up the road and then the noise of grenades again. Then more grenades. They rushed the sawmill then.]]></description>
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<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7039.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-3 15:37:24</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[The corporal took a bottle of anis from a cupboard and both Gomez and Andr drank. So did the corporal. He wiped his mouth on his hand. _Vamonos_, he said. They went out of the guard room with the swallowed burn of the anis warming their mouths, their bellies and their hearts and walked down the hall and entered the room where Marty sat behind a long table, his map spread in front of him, his red-and-blue pencil, with which he played at being a general officer, in his hand. To Andr it was only one more thing. There had been many tonight. There were always many. If your papers were in order and your heart was good you were in no danger. Eventually they turned you loose and you were on your way. But the _Ingl_ had said to hurry. He knew now he could never get back for the bridge but they had a dispatch to deliver and this old man there at the table had put it in his pocket. Stand there, Marty said without looking up. Listen, Comrade Marty, Gomez broke out, the anis fortifying his anger. Once tonight we have been impeded by the ignorance of the anarchists. Then by the sloth of a bureaucratic fascist. Now by the oversuspicion of a Communist. Close your mouth, Marty said without looking up. This is not a meeting. Comrade Marty, this is a matter of utmost urgence, Gomez said. Of the greatest importance. The corporal and the soldier with them were taking a lively interest in this as though they were at a play they had seen many times but whose excellent moments they could always savor. Everything is of urgence, Marty said. All things are of importance. Now he looked up at them, holding the pencil. How did you know Golz was here? Do you understand how serious it is to come asking for an individual general before an attack? How could you know such a general would be here? Tell him, _tu_, Gomez said to Andr. Comrade General, Andr started--Andr?Marty did not correct him in the mistake in rank--I was given that packet on the other side of the lines-- On the other side of the lines? Marty said. Yes, I heard him say you came from the fascist lines. It was given to me, Comrade General, by an _Ingl_ named Roberto who had come to us as a dynamiter for this of the bridge. Understandeth? Continue thy story, Marty said to Andr; using the term story as you would say lie, falsehood, or fabrication. Well, Comrade General, the _Ingl_ told me to bring it to the General Golz with all speed. He makes an attack in these hills now on this day and all we ask is to take it to him now promptly if it pleases the Comrade General. Marty shook his head again. He was looking at Andr but he was not seeing him. Golz, he thought in a mixture of horror and exultation as a man might feel hearing that a business enemy had been killed in a particularly nasty motor accident or that some one you hated but whose probity you had never doubted had been guilty of defalcation. That Golz should be one of them, too. That Golz should be in such obvious communication with the fascists. Golz that he had known for nearly twenty years. Golz who had captured the gold train that winter with Lucacz in Siberia. Golz who had fought against Kolchak, and in Poland. In the Caucasus. In China, and here since the first October. But he _had_ been close to Tukachevsky. To Voroshilov, yes, too. But to Tukachevsky. And to who else? Here to Karkov, of course. And to Lucacz. But all the Hungarians had been intriguers. He hated Gall. Golz hated Gall. Remember that. Make a note of that. Golz has always hated Gall. But he favors Putz. Remember that. And Duval is his chief of staff. See what stems from that. You've heard him say Copic's a fool. That is definitive. That exists. And now this dispatch from the fascist lines. Only by pruning out of these rotten branches can the tree remain healthy and grow. The rot must become apparent for it is to be destroyed. But Golz of all men. That Golz should be one of the traitors. He knew that you could trust no one. No one. Ever. Not your wife. Not your brother. Not your oldest comrade. No one. Ever. Take them away, he said to the guards. Guard them carefully. The corporal looked at the soldier. This had been very quiet for one of Marty's performances. Comrade Marty, Gomez said. Do not be insane. Listen to me, a loyal officer and comrade. That is a dispatch that must be delivered. This comrade has brought it through the fascist lines to give to Comrade General Golz. Take them away, Marty said, now kindly, to the guard. He was sorry for them as human beings if it should be necessary to liquidate them. But it was the tragedy of Golz that oppressed him. That it should be Golz, he thought. He would take the fascist communication at once to Varloff. No, better he would take it to Golz himself and watch him as he received it. That was what he would do. How could he be sure of Varloff if Golz was one of them? No. This was a thing to be very careful about. Andr turned to Gomez, You mean he is not going to send the dispatch? he asked, unbelieving. Don't you see? Gomez said. _Me cago en su puta madre!_ Andr said. _Est?loco_. Yes, Gomez said. He is crazy. You are crazy! Hear! Crazy! he shouted at Marty who was back now bending over the map with his red-and-blue pencil. Hear me, you crazy murderer? Take them away, Marty said to the guard. Their minds are unhinged by their great guilt. There was a phrase the corporal recognized. He had heard that before. You crazy murderer! Gomez shouted. _Hijo de la gran puta_, Andr said to him. _Loco_. The stupidity of this man angered him. If he was a crazy let him be removed as a crazy. Let the dispatch be taken from his pocket. God damn this crazy to hell. His heavy Spanish anger was rising out of his usual calm and good temper. In a little while it would blind him. Marty, looking at his map, shook his head sadly as the guards took Gomez and Andr out. The guards had enjoyed hearing him cursed but on the whole they had been disappointed in the performance. They had seen much better ones. Andr?Marty did not mind the men cursing him. So many men had cursed him at the end. He was always genuinely sorry for them as human beings. He always told himself that and it was one of the last true ideas that was left to him that had ever been his own. He sat there, his moustache and his eyes focused on the map, on the map that he never truly understood, on the brown tracing of the contours that were traced fine and concentric as a spider's web. He could see the heights and the valleys from the contours but he never really understood why it should be this height and why this valley was the one. But at the General Staff where, because of the system of Political Commissars, he could intervene as the political head of the Brigades, he would put his finger on such and such a numbered, brown-thin-lined encircled spot among the greens of woods cut by the lines of roads that parallel the never casual winding of a river and say, There. That is the point of weakness. Gall and Copic, who were men of politics and of ambition, would agree and later, men who never saw the map, but heard the number of the hill before they left their starting place and had the earth of diggings on it pointed out, would climb its side to find their death along its slope or, being halted by machine guns placed in olive groves would never get up it at all. Or on other fronts they might scale it easily and be no better off than they had been before. But when Marty put his finger on the map in Golz's staff the scarheaded, white-faced General's jaw muscles would tighten and he would think, I should shoot you, Andr?Marty, before I let you put that gray rotten finger on a contour map of mine. Damn you to hell for all the men you've killed by interfering in matters you know nothing of. Damn the day they named tractor factories and villages and co-operatives for you so that you are a symbol that I cannot touch. Go and suspect and exhort and intervene and denounce and butcher some other place and leave my staff alone. But instead of saying that Golz would only lean back away from the leaning bulk, the pushing finger, the watery gray eyes, the graywhite moustache and the bad breath and say, Yes, Comrade Marty. I see your point. It is not well taken, however, and I do not agree. You can try to go over my head if you like. Yes. You can make it a Party matter as you say. But I do not agree. So now Andr?Marty sat working over his map at the bare table with the raw light on the unshaded electric light bulb over his head, the overwide beret pulled forward to shade his eyes, referring to the mimeographed copy of the orders for the attack and slowly and laboriously working them out on the map as a young officer might work a problem at a staff college. He was engaged in war. In his mind he was commanding troops; he had the right to interfere and this he believed to constitute command. So he sat there with Robert Jordan's dispatch to Golz in his pocket and Gomez and Andr waited in the guard room and Robert Jordan lay in the woods above the bridge. It is doubtful if the outcome of Andr's mission would have been any different if he and Gomez had been allowed to proceed without Andr?Marty's hindrance. There was no one at the front with sufficient authority to cancel the attack. The machinery had been in motion much too long for it to be stopped suddenly now. There is a great inertia about all military operations of any size. But once this inertia has been overcome and movement is under way they are almost as hard to arrest as to initiate. But on this night the old man, his beret pulled forward, was still sitting at the table with his map when the door opened and Karkov the Russian journalist came in with two other Russians in civilian clothes, leather coats and caps. The corporal of the guard closed the door reluctantly behind them. Karkov had been the first responsible man he had been able to communicate with. Tovarich Marty, said Karkov in his politely disdainful lisping voice and smiled, showing his bad teeth. Marty stood up. He did not like Karkov, but Karkov, coming from _Pravda_ and in direct communication with Stalin, was at this moment one of the three most important men in Spain. Tovarich Karkov, he said. You are preparing the attack? Karkov said insolently, nodding toward the map. I am studying it, Marty answered. Are you attacking? Or is it Golz? Karkov asked smoothly. I am only a commissar, as you know, Marty told him. No, Karkov said. You are modest. You are really a general. You have your map and your field glasses. But were you not an admiral once, Comrade Marty? I was a gunner's mate, said Marty. It was a lie. He had really been a chief yeoman at the time of the mutiny. But he thought now, always, that he had been a gunner's mate. Ah. I thought you were a first-class yeoman, Karkov said. I always get my facts wrong. It is the mark of the journalist. The other Russians had taken no part in the conversation. They were both looking over Marty's shoulder at the map and occasionally making a remark to each other in their own language. Marty and Karkov spoke French after the first greeting. It is better not to get facts wrong in _Pravda_, Marty said. He said it brusquely to build himself up again. Karkov always punctured him. The French word is _d間onfler_ and Marty was worried and made wary by him. It was hard, when Karkov spoke, to remember with what importance he, Andr?Marty, came from the Central Committee of the French Communist Party. It was hard to remember, too, that he was untouchable. Karkov seemed always to touch him so lightly and whenever he wished. Now Karkov said, I usually correct them before I send them to _Pravda_, I am quite accurate in _Pravda_. Tell me, Comrade Marty, have you heard anything of any message coming through for Golz from one of our _partizan_ groups operating toward Segovia? There is an American comrade there named Jordan that we should have heard from. There have been reports of fighting there behind the fascist lines. He would have sent a message through to Golz. An American? Marty asked. Andr had said an _Ingl_. So that is what it was. So he had been mistaken. Why had those fools spoken to him anyway? Yes, Karkov looked at him contemptuously, a young American of slight political development but a great way with the Spaniards and a fine _partizan_ record. Just give me the dispatch, Comrade Marty. It has been delayed enough. What dispatch? Marty asked. It was a very stupid thing to say and he knew it. But he was not able to admit he was wrong that quickly and he said it anyway to delay the moment of humiliation, not accepting any humiliation. And the safe-conduct pass, Karkov said through his bad teeth. Andr?Marty put his hand in his pocket and laid the dispatch on the table. He looked Karkov squarely in the eye. All right. He was wrong and there was nothing he could do about it now but he was not accepting any humiliation. And the safe-conduct pass, Karkov said softly. Marty laid it beside the dispatch. Comrade Corporal, Karkov called in Spanish. The corporal opened the door and came in. He looked quickly at Andr?Marty, who stared back at him like an old boar which has been brought to bay by hounds. There was no fear on Marty's face and no humiliation. He was only angry, and he was only temporarily at bay. He knew these dogs could never hold him. Take these to the two comrades in the guard room and direct them to General Golz's headquarters, Karkov said. There has been too much delay. The corporal went out and Marty looked after him, then looked at Karkov. Tovarich Marty, Karkov said, I am going to find out just how untouchable you are. Marty looked straight at him and said nothing. Don't start to have any plans about the corporal, either, Karkov went on. It was not the corporal. I saw the two men in the guard room and they spoke to me (this was a lie). I hope all men always will speak to me (this was the truth although it was the corpora! who had spoken). But Karkov had this belief in the good which could come from his own accessibility and the humanizing possibility of benevolent intervention. It was the one thing he was never cynical about. You know when I am in the U.S.S.R. people write to me in _Pravda_ when there is an injustice in a town in Azerbaijan. Did you know that? They say 'Karkov will help us. Andr?Marty looked at him with no expression on his face except anger and dislike. There was nothing in his mind now but that Karkov had done something against him. All right, Karkov, power and all, could watch out. This is something else, Karkov went on, but it is the same principle. I am going to find Out just how untouchable you are, Comrade Marty. I would like to know if it could not be possible to change the name of that tractor factory. Andr?Marty looked away from him and back to the map. What did young Jordan say? Karkov asked him. I did not read it, Andr?Marty said. _Et maintenant fiche moi la paix_, Comrade Karkov. Good, said Karkov. I leave you to your military labors. He stepped out of the room and walked to the guard room. Andr and Gomez were already gone and he stood there a moment looking up the road and at the mountain tops beyond that showed now in the first gray of daylight. We must get on up there, he thought. It will be soon, now. Andr and Gomez were on the motorcycle on the road again and it was getting light. Now Andr, holding again to the back of the seat ahead of him as the motorcycle climbed turn after switchback turn in a faint gray mist that lay over the top of the pass, felt the motorcycle speed under him, then skid and stop and they were standing by the motorcycle on a long, down-slope of road and in the woods, on their left, were tanks covered with pine branches. There were troops here all through the woods. Andr saw men carrying the long poles of stretchers over their shoulders. 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They stood outside while the chauffeur went in and Andr admired the construction of th<A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/">unlocked cell phones from china</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/Rozen-Maiden-Cosplay-st2-sid336.html">rozen maiden cosplay costumes</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/">mini cect 5800 ka09 touch quad band</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/products/product_1482.htm">lh01 phone charger</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/">mp3 player for n97</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/products/product_3990.htm/">10.4 inch lcd monitor</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/Wholesale-KA08.html">chinese cheap phones</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/wholesale-cheap-Sciphone-I68-A.html">buy china cheap wholesale sciphone i68-a</A> <A href="http://www.chinanewfashion.com/products/product_1669.htm/">buy china cheap wholesale i68+</A> <A 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Vicente, the chauffeur, came out.]]></description>
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<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7038.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-10 11:10:53</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Give me some, Maria, Pablo said. How art thou? He did not look at her. Well, Maria told him and brought him a bowl of coffee. Do you want stew? Pablo shook his head. _No me gusta estar solo_, Pablo went on explaining to Pilar as though the others were not there. I do not like to be alone. _Sabes?_ Yesterday all day alone working for the good of all I was not lonely. But last night. _Hombre!_ _Qu?mal lo pas?_ Thy predecessor the famous Judas Iscariot hanged himself, Pilar said. Don't talk to me that way, woman, Pablo said. Have you not seen? I am back. Don't talk of Judas nor nothing of that. I am back. How are these people thee brought? Pilar asked him. Hast brought anything worth bringing? _Son buenos_, Pablo said. He took a chance and looked at Pilar squarely, then looked away. _Buenos y bobos_. Good ones and stupids. Ready to die and all. _A tu gusto_. According to thy taste. The way you like them. Pablo looked Pilar in the eyes again and this time he did not look away. He kept on looking at her squarely with his small, redrimmed pig eyes. Thou, she said and her husky voice was fond again. Thou. I suppose if a man has something once, always something of it remains. _Listo_, Pablo said, looking at her squarely and flatly now. I am ready for what the day brings. I believe thou art back, Pilar said to him. I believe it. But, hombre, thou wert a long way gone. Lend me another swallow from thy bottle, Pablo said to Robert Jordan. And then let us be going. In the dark they came up the hill through the timber to the narrow pass at the top. They were all loaded heavily and they climbed slowly. The horses had loads too, packed over the saddles. We can cut them loose if it is necessary, Pilar had said. But with that, if we can keep it, we can make another camp. And the rest of the ammunition? Robert Jordan had asked as they lashed the packs. In those saddlebags. Robert Jordan felt the weight of his heavy pack, the dragging on his neck from the pull of his jacket with its pockets full of grenades, the weight of his pistol against his thigh, and the bulging of his trouser pockets where the clips for the submachine gun were. In his mouth was the taste of the coffee, in his right hand he carried the submachine gun and with his left hand he reached and pulled up the collar of his jacket to ease the pull of the pack straps. _Ingl_, Pablo said to him, walking close beside him in the dark. What, man? These I have brought think this is to be successful because I have brought them, Pablo said. Do not say anything to disillusion them. Good, Robert Jordan said. But let us make it successful. They have five horses, _sabes?_ Pablo said cautiously. Good, said Robert Jordan. We will keep all the horses together. Good, said Pablo, and nothing more. I didn't think you had experienced any complete conversion on the road to Tarsus, old Pablo, Robert Jordan thought. No. Your coming back was miracle enough. I don't think there will ever be any problem about canonizing you. With those five I will deal with the lower post as well as Sordo would have, Pablo said. I will cut the wire and fall back upon the bridge as we convened. We went over this all ten minutes ago, Robert Jordan thought. I wonder why this now-- There is a possibility of making it to Gredos, Pablo said. Truly, I have thought much of it. I believe you've had another flash in the last few minutes, Robert Jordan said to himself. You have had another revelation. But you're not going to convince me that I am invited. No, Pablo. Do not ask me to believe too much. Ever since Pablo had come into the cave and said he had five men Robert Jordan felt increasingly better. Seeing Pablo again had broken the pattern of tragedy into which the whole operation had seemed grooved ever since the snow, and since Pablo had been back he felt not that his luck had turned, since he did not believe in luck, but that the whole thing had turned for the better and that now it was possible. Instead of the surety of failure he felt confidence rising in him as a tire begins to fill with air from a slow pump. There was little difference at first, although there was a definite beginning, as when the pump starts and the rubber of the tube crawls a little, but it came now as steadily as a tide rising or the sap rising in a tree until he began to feel the first edge of that negation of apprehension that often turned into actual happiness before action. This was the greatest gift that he had, the talent that fitted him for war; that ability not to ignore but to despise whatever bad ending there could be. This quality was destroyed by too much responsibility for others or the necessity of undertaking something ill planned or badly conceived. For in such things the bad ending, failure, could not be ignored. It was not simply a possibility of harm to one's self, which _could_ be ignored. He knew he himself was nothing, and he knew death was nothing. He knew that truly, as truly as he knew anything. In the last few days he had learned that he himself, with another person, could be everything. But inside himself he knew that this was the exception. That we have had, he thought. In that I have been most fortunate. That was given to me, perhaps, because I never asked for it. That cannot be taken away nor lost. But that is over and done with now on this morning and what there is to do now is our work. And you, he said to himself, I am glad to see you getting a little something back that was badly missing for a time. But you were pretty bad back there. I was ashamed enough of you, there for a while. Only I was you. There wasn't any me to judge you. We were all in bad shape. You and me and both of us. Come on now. Quit thinking like a schizophrenic. One at a time, now. You're all right again now. But listen, you must not think of the girl all day ever. You can do nothing now to protect her except to keep her out of it, and that you are doing. There are evidently going to be plenty of horses if you can believe the signs. The best thing you can do for her is to do the job well and fast and get out, and thinking of her will only handicap you in this. So do not think of her ever. Having thought this out he waited until Maria came up walking with Pilar and Rafael and the horses. Hi, _guapa_, he said to her in the dark, how are you? I am well, Roberto, she said. Don't worry about anything, he said to her and shifting the gun to his left hand he put a hand on her shoulder. I do not, she said. It is all very well organized, he told her. Rafael will be with thee with the horses. I would rather be with thee. Nay. The horses is where thou art most useful. Good, she said. There I will be. Just then one of the horses whinnied and from the open place below the opening through the rocks a horse answered, the neigh rising into a shrill sharply broken quaver. Robert Jordan saw the bulk of the new horses ahead in the dark. He pressed forward and came up to them with Pablo. The men were standing by their mounts. _Salud_, Robert Jordan said. _Salud_, they answered in the dark. He could not see their faces. This is the _Ingl_ who comes with us, Pablo said. The dynamiter. No one said anything to that. Perhaps they nodded in the dark. Let us get going, Pablo, one man said. Soon we will have the daylight on us. Did you bring any more grenades? another asked. Plenty, said Pablo. Supply yourselves when we leave the animals. Then let us go, another said. 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It is much horse. Come on, another man said. Let us go. There is no good in gossiping here. How art thou, Elicio? Pilar said to him as he mounted. How would I be? he said rudely. Come on, woman, we have work to do. Pablo mounted the big bay horse. Keep thy mouths shut and follow me, he said. I will lead you to the place where we will leave the horses.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[27]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7037.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-10 11:09:57</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Good, she said. _Dentro de la gravedad_. Then she said, squatting by him, How does it seem to thee now that it is really starting? That we are few, Robert Jordan said to her quickly. To me, too, she said. Very few. Then she said still to him alone, The Maria can hold the horses by herself. I am not needed for that. We will hobble them. They are cavalry horses and the firing will not panic them. I will go to the lower post and do that which was the duty of Pablo. In this way we are one more. Good, he said. I thought you might wish to. Nay, _Ingl_, Pilar said looking at him closely. Do not be worried. All will be well. Remember they expect no such thing to come to them. Yes, Robert Jordan said. One other thing, _Ingl_, Pilar said as softly as her harsh whisper could be soft. In that thing of the hand-- What thing of the hand? he said angrily. Nay, listen. Do not be angry, little boy. In regard to that thing of the hand. That is all gypsy nonsense that I make to give myself an importance. There is no such thing. Leave it alone, he said coldly. Nay, she said harshly and lovingly. It is just a lying nonsense that I make. I would not have thee worry in the day of battle. I am not worried, Robert Jordan said. Yes, _Ingl_, she said. Thou art very worried, for good cause. But all will be well, _Ingl_. It is for this that we are born. I don't need a political commissar, Robert Jordan told her. She smiled at him again, smiling fairly and truly with the harsh lips and the wide mouth, and said, I care for thee very much, _Ingl_. I don't want that now, he said. _Ni tu, ni Dios_. Yes, Pilar said in that husky whisper. I know. I only wished to tell thee. And do not worry. We will do all very well. Why not? Robert Jordan said and the very thinnest edge of the skin in front of his face smiled. Of course we will. All will be well. When do we go? Pilar asked. Robert Jordan looked at his watch. Any time, he said. He handed one of the packs to Anselmo. How are you doing, old one? he asked. The old man was finishing whittling the last of a pile of wedges he had copied from a model Robert Jordan had given him. These were extra wedges in case they should be needed. Well, the old man said and nodded. So far, very well. He held his hand out. Look, he said and smiled. His hands were perfectly steady. _Bueno, y qu?_ Robert Jordan said to him. I can always keep the whole hand steady. Point with one finger. Anselmo pointed. The finger was trembling. He looked at Robert Jordan and shook his head. Mine too, Robert Jordan showed him. Always. That is normal. Not for me, Fernando said. He put his right forefinger out to show them. Then the left forefinger. Canst thou spit? Agust asked him and winked at Robert Jordan. Fernando hawked and spat proudly onto the floor of the cave, then rubbed it in the dirt with his foot. You filthy mule, Pilar said to him. Spit in the fire if thou must vaunt thy courage. I would not have spat on the floor, Pilar, if we were not leaving this place, Fernando said primly. Be careful where you spit today, Pilar told him. It may be some place you will not be leaving. That one speaks like a black cat, Agust said. He had the nervous necessity to joke that is another form of what they all felt. I joke, said Pilar. Me too, said Agust. But _me cago en la leche_, but I will be content when it starts. Where is the gypsy? Robert Jordan asked Eladio. With the horses, Eladio said. You can see him from the cave mouth. How is he? Eladio grinned. With much fear, he said. It reassured him to speak of the fear of another. Listen, _Ingl_-- Pilar began. Robert Jordan looked toward her and as he did he saw her mouth open and the unbelieving look come on her face and he swung toward the cave mouth reaching for his pistol. There, holding the blanket aside with one hand, the short automatic rifle muzzle with its flash-cone jutting above his shoulder, was Pablo standing short, wide, bristly-faced, his small red-rimmed eyes looking toward no one in particular. Thou-- Pilar said to him unbelieving. Thou. Me, said Pablo evenly. He came into the cave. _Hola, Ingl_, he said. I have five from the bands of Elias and Alejandro above with their horses. And the exploder and the detonators? Robert Jordan said. And the other material? I threw them down the gorge into the river, Pablo said still looking at no one. But I have thought of a way to detonate using a grenade. So have I, Robert Jordan said. Have you a drink of anything? Pablo asked wearily. Robert Jordan handed him the flask and he swallowed fast, then wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. What passes with you? Pilar asked. _Nada_, Pablo said, wiping his mouth again. Nothing. I have come back. But what? Nothing. I had a moment of weakness. I went away but I am come back. He turned to Robert Jordan. _En el fondo no soy cobarde_, he said. At bottom I am not a coward. But you are very many other things, Robert Jordan thought. Damned if you're not. But I'm glad to see you, you son of a bitch. Five was all I could get from Elias and Alejandro, Pablo said. I have ridden since I left here. Nine of you could never have done it. Never. I knew that last night when the _Ingl_ explained it. Never. There are seven men and a corporal at the lower post. Suppose there is an alarm or that they fight? He looked at Robert Jordan now. When I left I thought you would know that it was impossible and would give it up. Then after I had thrown away thy material I saw it in another manner. I am glad to see thee, Robert Jordan said. He walked over to him. We are all right with the grenades. That will work. The other does not matter now. Nay, Pablo said. I do nothing for thee. Thou art a thing of bad omen. All of this comes from thee. Sordo also. But after I had thrown away thy material I found myself too lonely. Thy mother-- Pilar said. So I rode for the others to make it possible for it to be successful. I have brought the best that I could get. I have left them at the top so I could speak to you, first. They think I am the leader. Thou art, Pilar said. If thee wishes. Pablo looked at her and said nothing. Then he said simply and quietly, I have thought much since the thing of Sordo. I believe if we must finish we must finish together. But thou, _Ingl_. I hate thee for bringing this to us. But Pablo-- Fernando, his pockets full of grenades, a bandolier of cartridges over his shoulder, he still wiping in his pan of stew with a piece of bread, began. Do you not believe the operation can be successful? 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Give him some more stew, Pilar said viciously to Maria. Then to Pablo, her eyes softening, So you have come back, eh? Yes, woman, Pablo said. Well, thou art welcome, Pilar said to him. I did not think thou couldst be the ruin thou appeared to be. Having done such a thing there is a loneliness that cannot be borne, Pablo said to her quietly. That cannot be borne, she mocked him. That cannot be borne by thee for fifteen minutes. Do not mock me, woman. I have come back. And thou art welcome, she said. Didst not hear me the first time? Drink thy coffee and let us go. So much theatre tires me. Is that coffee? Pablo asked. Certainly, Fernando said.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[26]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7036.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-10 11:07:44</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[_Qu?va_, she said, it is thou who art educated. Educated, he thought. I have the very smallest beginnings of an education. The very small beginnings. If I die on this day it is a waste because I know a few things now. I wonder if you only learn them now because you are oversensitized because of the shortness of the time? There is no such thing as a shortness of time, though. You should have sense enough to know that too. I have been all my life in these hills since I have been here. Anselmo is my oldest friend. I know him better than I know Charles, than I know Chub, than I know Guy, than I know Mike, and I know them well. Agust, with his vile mouth, is my brother, and I never had a brother. Maria is my true love and my wife. I never had a true love. I never had a wife. She is also my sister, and I never had a sister, and my daughter, and I never will have a daughter. I hate to leave a thing that is so good. He finished tying his rope-soled shoes. I find life very interesting, he said to Maria. She was sitting beside him on the robe, her hands clasped around her ankles. Some one moved the blanket aside from the entrance to the cave and they both saw the light. It was night still and here was no promise of morning except that as he looked up through the pines he saw how low the stars had swung. The morning would be coming fast now in this month. Roberto, Maria said. Yes, _guapa_. In this of today we will be together, will we not? After the start, yes. Not at the start? No. Thou wilt be with the horses. I cannot be with thee? No. I have work that only I can do and I would worry about thee. But you will come fast when it is done? Very fast, he said and grinned in the dark. Come, _guapa_, let us go and eat. And thy robe? Roll it up, if it pleases thee. It pleases me, she said. I will help thee. Nay. Let me do it alone. She knelt to spread and roll the robe, then changed her mind and stood up and shook it so it flapped. Then she knelt down again to straighten it and roll it. Robert Jordan picked up the two packs, holding them carefully so that nothing would spill from the slits in them, and walked over through the pines to the cave mouth where the smoky blanket hung. It was ten minutes to three by his watch when he pushed the blanket aside with his elbow and went into the cave. They were in the cave and the men were standing before the fire Maria was fanning. Pilar had coffee ready in a pot. She had not gone back to bed at all since she had roused Robert Jordan and now she was sitting on a stool in the smoky cave sewing the rip in one of Jordan's packs. The other pack was already sewed. The firelight lit up her face. Take more of the stew, she said to Fernando. What does it matter if thy belly should be full? There is no doctor to operate if you take a goring. Don't speak that way, woman, Agust said. Thou hast the tongue of the great whore. He was leaning on the automatic rifle, its legs folded close against the fretted barrel, his pockets were full of grenades, a sack of pans hung from one shoulder, and a full bandolier of ammunition hung over the other shoulder. He was smoking a cigarette and he held a bowl of coffee in one hand and blew smoke onto its surface as he raised it to his lips. Thou art a walking hardware store, Pilar said to him. Thou canst not walk a hundred yards with all that. _Qu?va_, woman, Agust said. It is all downhill. There is a climb to the post, Fernando said. Before the downward slope commences. I will climb it like a goat, Agust said. And thy brother? he asked Eladio. Thy famous brother has mucked off? Eladio was standing against the wall. Shut up, he said. He was nervous and he knew they all knew it. He was always nervous and irritable before action. He moved from the wall to the table and began filling his pockets with grenades from one of the rawhide-covered panniers that leaned, open, against the table leg. Robert Jordan squatted by the pannier beside him. He reached into the pannier and picked out four grenades. Three were the oval Mill bomb type, serrated, heavy iron with a spring level held down in position by a cotter pin with pulling rig attached. Where did these come from? he asked Eladio. Those? Those are from the Republic. The old man brought them. How are they? _Valen m que pesan_, Eladio said. They are worth a fortune apiece. I brought those, Anselmo said. Sixty in one pack. Ninety pounds, _Ingl_. Have you used those? Robert Jordan asked Pilar. Qu?va have we used them? the woman said. It was with those Pablo slew the post at Otero. When she mentioned Pablo, Agust started cursing. Robert Jordan saw the look on Pilar's face in the firelight. Leave it, she said to Agust sharply. It does no good to talk. Have they always exploded? Robert Jordan held the graypainted grenade in his hand, trying the bend of the cotter pin with his thumbnail. Always, Eladio said. There was not a dud in any of that lot we used. And how quickly? In the distance one can throw it. Quickly. Quickly enough. And these? He held up a soup-tin-shaped bomb, with a tape wrapping around a wire loop. They are a garbage, Eladio told him. They blow. Yes. But it is all flash and no fragments. But do they always blow? _Qu?va_, always, Pilar said. There is no always either with our munitions or theirs. But you said the other always blew. Not me, Pilar told him. You asked another, not me. I have seen no _always_ in any of that stuff. They all blew, Eladio insisted. Speak the truth, woman. How do you know they all blew? Pilar asked him. It was Pablo who threw them. You killed no one at Otero. That son of the great whore, Agust began. Leave it alone, Pilar said sharply. Then she went on. They are all much the same, _Ingl_. But the corrugated ones are more simple. I'd better use one of each on each set, Robert Jordan thought. But the serrated type will lash easier and more securely. Are you going to be throwing bombs, _Ingl?_ Agust asked. Why not? Robert Jordan said. But crouched there, sorting out the grenades, what he was thinking was: it is impossible. How I could have deceived myself about it I do not know. We were as sunk when they attacked Sordo as Sordo was sunk when the snow stopped. It is that you can't accept it. You have to go on and make a plan that you know is impossible to carry out. You made it and now you know it is no good. It's no good, now, in the morning. You can take either of the posts absolutely O.K. with what you've got here. But you can't take them both. You can't be sure of it, I mean. Don't deceive yourself. Not when the daylight comes. Trying to take them both will never work. Pablo knew that all the time. I suppose he always intended to muck off but he knew we were cooked when Sordo was attacked. You can't base an operation on the presumption that miracles are going to happen. You will kill them all off and not even get your bridge blown if you have nothing better than what you have now. You will kill off Pilar, Anselmo, Agust, Primitivo, this jumpy Eladio, the worthless gypsy and old Fernando, and you won't get your bridge blown. Do you suppose there will be a miracle and Golz will get the message from Andr and stop it? If there isn't, you are going to kill them all off with those orders. Maria too. You'll kill her too with those orders. Can't you even get her out of it? God damn Pablo to hell, he thought. No. Don't get angry. Getting angry is as bad as getting scared. But instead of sleeping with your girl you should have ridden all night through these hills with the woman to try to dig up enough people to make it work. Yes, he thought. And if anything happened to me so I was not here to blow it. Yes. That. That's why you weren't out. And you couldn't send anybody out because you couldn't run a chance of losing them and being short one more. You had to keep what you had and make a plan to do it with them. But your plan stinks. It stinks, I tell you. It was a night plan and it's morning now. Night plans aren't any good in the morning. The way you think at night is no good in the morning. So now you know it is no good. What if John Mosby did get away with things as impossible as this? Sure he did. Much more difficult. And remember, do not undervaluate the element of surprise. Remember that. Remember it isn't goofy if you can make it stick. But that is not the way you are supposed to make it. You should make it not only possible but sure. But look at how it all has gone. Well, it was wrong in the first place and such things accentuate disaster as a snowball rolls up wet snow. He looked up from where he was squatted by the table and saw Maria and she smiled at him. 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I could unscrew the detonators and just use them, he thought. But I don't think the fragmentation will have any bad effect. It will come instantaneously with the explosion of the charge and it won't disperse it. At least, I don't think it will. I'm sure it won't. Have a little confidence, he told himself. And you, last night, thinking about how you and your grandfather were so terrific and your father was a coward. Show yourself a little confidence now. He grinned at Maria again but the grin was still no deeper than the skin that felt tight over his cheekbones and his mouth. She thinks you're wonderful, he thought. I think you stink. And the _gloria_ and all that nonsense that you had. You had wonderful ideas, didn't you? You had this world all taped, didn't you? The hell with all of that. Take it easy, he told himself. Don't get into a rage. That's just a way out too. There are always ways out. You've got to bite on the nail now. There isn't any need to deny everything there's been just because you are going to lose it. Don't be like some damned snake with a broken back biting at itself; and your back isn't broken either, you hound. Wait until you're hurt before you start to cry. Wait until the fight before you get angry. There's lots of time for it in a fight. It will be some use to you in a fight. Pilar came over to him with the bag. It is strong now, she said. Those grenades are very good, _Ingl_. You can have confidence in them. How do you feel, woman? She looked at him and shook her head and smiled. He wondered how far into her face the smile went. It looked deep enough.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[25]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7035.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-3 15:37:24</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[With a shaved head and a big belly and a cast in one eye. Then this is valid, the man said and handed him back the paper. But what do you do on their side? Our father had installed himself at Villacast before the movement, Andr said. Down there beyond the mountains on the plain. It was there we were surprised by the movement. Since the movement I have fought with the band of Pablo. But I am in a great hurry, man, to take that dispatch. How goes it in the country of the fascists? the man commanding asked. He was in no hurry. Today we had much _tomate_, Andr said proudly. Today there was plenty of dust on the road all day. Today they wiped out the band of Sordo. And who is Sordo? the other asked deprecatingly. The leader of one of the best bands in the mountains. All of you should come in to the Republic and join the army, the officer said. There is too much of this silly guerilla nonsense going on. All of you should come in and submit to our Libertarian discipline. Then when we wished to send out guerillas we would send them out as they are needed. Andr was a man endowed with almost supreme patience. He had taken the coming in through the wire calmly. None of this examination had flustered him. He found it perfectly normal that this man should have no understanding of them nor of what they were doing and that he should talk idiocy was to be expected. That it should all go slowly should be expected too; but now he wished to go. Listen, _Compadre_, he said. It is very possible that you are right. But I have orders to deliver that dispatch to the General commanding the Thirty-Fifth Division, which makes an attack at daylight in these hills and it is already late at night and I must go. What attack? What do you know of an attack? Nay. I know nothing. But I must go now to Navacerrada and go on from there. Wilt thou send me to thy commander who will give me transport to go on from there? Send one with me now to respond to him that there be no delay. I distrust all of this greatly, he said. It might have been better to have shot thee as thou approached the wire. You have seen my papers, Comrade, and I have explained my mission, Andr told him patiently. Papers can be forged, the officer said. Any fascist could invent such a mission. I will go with thee myself to the Commander. Good, Andr said. That you should come. But that we should go quickly. Thou, Sanchez. Thou commandest in my place, the officer said. Thou knowest thy duties as well as I do. I take this so-called Comrade to the Commander. They started down the shallow trench behind the crest of the hill and in the dark Andr smelt the foulness the defenders of the hill crest had made all through the bracken on that slope. He did not like these people who were like dangerous children; dirty, foul, undisciplined, kind, loving, silly and ignorant but always dangerous because they were armed. He, Andr, was without politics except that he was for the Republic. He had heard these people talk many times and he thought what they said was often beautiful and fine to hear but he did not like them. It is not liberty not to bury the mess one makes, he thought. No animal has more liberty than the cat; but it buries the mess it makes. The cat is the best anarchist. Until they learn that from the cat I cannot respect them. Ahead of him the officer stopped suddenly. You have your _carabine_ still, he said. Yes, Andr said. Why not? Give it to me, the officer said. You could shoot me in the back with it. Why? Andr asked him. Why would I shoot thee in the back? One never knows, the officer said. I trust no one. Give me the carbine. Andr unslung it and handed it to him. If it pleases thee to carry it, he said. It is better, the officer said. We are safer that way. They went on down the hill in the dark. Now Robert Jordan lay with the girl and he watched time passing on his wrist. It went slowly, almost imperceptibly, for it was a small watch and he could not see the second hand. But as he watched the minute hand he found he could almost check its motion with his concentration. The girl's head was under his chin and when he moved his head to look at the watch he felt the cropped head against his cheek, and it was as soft but as alive and silkily rolling as when a marten's fur rises under the caress of your hand when you spread the trap jaws open and lift the marten clear and, holding it, stroke the fur smooth. His throat swelled when his cheek moved against Maria's hair and there was a hollow aching from his throat all through him as he held his arms around her; his head dropped, his eyes close to the watch where the lance-pointed, luminous splinter moved slowly up the left face of the dial. He could see its movement clearly and steadily now and he held Maria close now to slow it. He did not want to wake her but he could not leave her alone now in this last time and he put his lips behind her ear and moved them up along her neck, feeling the smooth skin and the soft touch of her hair on them. He could see the hand moving on the watch and he held her tighter and ran the tip of his tongue along her cheek and onto the lobe of her ear and along the lovely convolutions to the sweet, firm rim at the top, and his tongue was trembling. He felt the trembling run through all of the hollow aching and he saw the hand of the watch now mounting in sharp angle toward the top where the hour was. Now while she still slept he turned her head and put his lips to hers. They lay there, just touching lightly against the sleep-firm mouth and he swung them softly across it, feeling them brush lightly. He turned himself toward her and he felt her shiver along the long, light lovely body and then she sighed, sleeping, and then she, still sleeping, held him too and then, unsleeping, her lips were against his firm and hard and pressing and he said, But the pain. And she said, Nay, there is no pain. Rabbit. Nay, speak not. My rabbit. Speak not. Speak not. Then they were together so that as the hand on the watch moved, unseen now, they knew that nothing could ever happen to the one that did not happen to the othei that no other thing could happen more than this; that this was all and always; this was what had been and now and whatever was to come. This, that they were not to have, they were having. They were having now and before and always and now and now and now. Oh, now, now, now, the only now, and above all now, and there is no other now but thou now and now is thy prophet. Now and forever now. Come now, now, for there is no now but now. Yes, now. Now, please now, only now, not anything else only this now, and where are you and where am I and where is the other one, and not why, not ever why, only this now; and on and always please then always now, always now, for now always one now; one only one, there is no other one but one now, one, going now, rising now, sailing now, leaving now, wheeling now, soaring now, away now, all the way now, all of all the way now; one and one is one, is one, is one, is one, is still one, is still one, is one descendingly, is one softly, is one longingly, is one kindly, is one happily, is one in goodness, is one to cherish, is one now on earth with elbows against the cut and slept-on branches of the pine tree with the smell of the pine boughs and the night; to earth conclusively now, and with the morning of the day to come. Then he said, for the other was only in his head and he had said nothing, Oh, Maria, I love thee and I thank thee for this. Maria said, Do not speak. It is better if we do not speak. I must tell thee for it is a great thing. Nay. Rabbit-- But she held him tight and turned her head away and he asked softly, Is it pain, rabbit? Nay, she said. It is that I am thankful too to have been another time in _la gloria_. Then afterwards they lay quiet, side by side, all length of ankle, thigh, hip and shoulder touching, Robert Jordan now with the watch where he could see it again and Maria said, We have had much good fortune. Yes, he said, we are people of much luck. There is not time to sleep? No, he said, it starts soon now. Then if we must rise let us go to get something to eat. All right. Thou. Thou art not worried about anything? No. Truly? No. Not now. But thou hast worried before? For a while. Is it aught I can help? Nay, he said. You have helped enough. That? That was for me. That was for us both, he said. No one is there alone. Come, rabbit, let us dress. But his mind, that was his best companion, was thinking La Gloria. She said La Gloria. It has nothing to do with glory nor La Gloire that the French write and speak about. It is the thing that is in the Cante Hondo and in the Saetas. 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I am no mystic, but to deny it is as ignorant as though you denied the telephone or that the earth revolves around the sun or that there are other planets than this. How little we know of what there is to know. I wish that I were going to live a long time instead of going to die today because I have learned much about life in these four days; more, I think, than in all the other time. I'd like to be an old man and to really know. I wonder if you keep on learning or if there is only a certain amount each man can understand. I thought I knew about so many things that I know nothing of. I wish there was more time. You taught me a lot, _guapa_, he said in English. What did you say? I have learned much from thee.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[32]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7034.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-9 10:10:23</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[During the time that Pablo had ridden back from the hills to the cave and the time the band had dropped down to where they had left the horses Andr had made rapid progress toward Golz's headquarters. Where they came onto the main highroad to Navacerrada on which the trucks were rolling back from the mountain there was a control. But when Gomez showed the sentry at the control his safe-conduct from the Lieutenant-Colonel Miranda the sentry put the light from a flashlight on it, showed it to the other sentry with him, then handed it back and saluted. _Siga_, he said. Continue. But without lights. The motorcycle roared again and Andr was holding tight onto the forward seat and they were moving along the highway, Gomez riding carefully in the traffic. None of the trucks had lights and they were moving down the road in a long convoy. There were loaded trucks moving up the road too, and all of them raised a dust that Andr could not see in that dark but could only feel as a cloud that blew in his face and that he could bite between his teeth. They were close behind the tailboard of a truck now, the motorcycle chugging, then Gomez speeded up and passed it and another, and another, and another with the other trucks roaring and rolling down past them on the left. There was a motorcar behind them now and it blasted into the truck noise and the dust with its klaxon again and again; then flashed on lights that showed the dust like a solid yellow cloud and surged past them in a whining rise of gears and a demanding, threatening, bludgeoning of klaxoning. Then ahead all the trucks were stopped and riding on, working his way ahead past ambulances, staff cars, an armored car, another, and a third, all halted, like heavy, metal, gun-jutting turtles in the hot yet settled dust, they found another control where there had been a smash-up. A truck, halting, had not been seen by the truck which followed it and the following truck had run into it smashing the rear of the first truck in and scattering cases of small-arms ammunition over the road. One case had burst open on landing and as Gomez and Andr stopped and wheeled the motorcycle forward through the stalled vehicles to show their safe-conduct at the control Andr walked over the brass hulls of the thousand of cartridges scattered across the road in the dust. The second truck had its radiator completely smashed in. The truck behind it was touching its tail gate. A hundred more were piling up behind and an overbooted officer was running back along the road shouting to the drivers to back so that the smashed truck could be gotten off the road. There were too many trucks for them to be able to back unless the officer reached the end of the ever mounting line and stopped it from increasing and Andr saw him running, stumbling, with his flashlight, shouting and cursing and, in the dark, the trucks kept coming up. The man at the control would not give the safe-conduct back. There were two of them, with rifles slung on their backs and flashlights in their hands and they were shouting too. The one carrying the safe-conduct in his hand crossed the road to a truck going in the downhill direction to tell it to proceed to the next control and tell them there to hold all trucks until his jam was straightened out. The truck driver listened and went on. Then, still holding the safeconduct, the control patrol came over, shouting, to the truck driver whose load was spilled. Leave it and get ahead for the love of God so we can clear this! he shouted at the driver. My transmission is smashed, the driver, who was bent over by the rear of his truck, said. Obscene your transmission. Go ahead, I say. They do not go ahead when the differential is smashed, the driver told him and bent down again. Get thyself pulled then, get ahead so that we can get this other obscenity off the road. The driver looked at him sullenly as the control man shone the electric torch on the smashed rear of the truck. Get ahead. Get ahead, the man shouted, still holding the safeconduct pass in his hand. And my paper, Gomez spoke to him. My safe-conduct. We are in a hurry. Take thy safe-conduct to hell, the man said and handing it to him ran across the road to halt a down-coming truck. Turn thyself at the crossroads and put thyself in position to pull this wreck forward, he said to the driver. My orders are-- Obscenity thy orders. Do as I say. The driver let his truck into gear and rolled straight ahead down the road and was gone in the dust. As Gomez started the motorcycle ahead onto the now clear right-hand side of the road past the wrecked truck, Andr, holding tight again, saw the control guard halting another truck and the driver leaning from the cab and listening to him. Now they went fast, swooping along the road that mounted steadily toward the mountain. All forward traffic had been stalled at the control and there were only the descending trucks passing, passing and passing on their left as the motorcycle climbed fast and steadily now until it began to overtake the mounting traffic which had gone on ahead before the disaster at the control. Still without lights they passed four more armored cars, then a long line of trucks loaded with troops. The troops were silent in the dark and at first Andr only felt their presence rising above him, bulking above the truck bodies through the dust as they passed. Then another staff came behind them blasting with its klaxon and flicking its lights off and on, and each time the lights shone Andr saw the troops, steel-helmeted, their rifles vertical, their machine guns pointed up against the dark sky, etched sharp against the night that they dropped into when the light flicked off. Once as he passed close to a troop truck and the lights flashed he saw their faces fixed and sad in the sudden light. In their steel helmets, riding in the trucks in the dark toward something that they only knew was an attack, their faces were drawn with each man's own problem in the dark and the light revealed them as they would not have looked in day, from shame to show it to each other, until the bombardment and the attack would commence, and no man would think about his face. Andr now passing them truck after truck, Gomez still keeping successfully ahead of the following staff car, did not think any of this about their faces. He only thought, What an army. What equipment. What a mechanization. _Vaya gente!_ Look at such people. Here we have the army of the Republic. Look at them. Camion after camion. All uniformed alike. All with casques of steel on their heads. Look at the _muinas_ rising from the trucks against the coming of planes. Look at the army that has been builded! And as the motorcycle passed the high gray trucks full of troops, gray trucks with high square cabs and square ugly radiators, steadily mounting the road in the dust and the flicking lights of the pursuing staff car, the red star of the army showing in the light when it passed over the tail gates, showing when the light came onto the sides of the dusty truck bodies, as they passed, climbing steadily now, the air colder and the road starting to turn in bends and switchbacks now, the trucks laboring and grinding, some steaming in the light flashes, the motorcycle laboring now too, and Andr clinging tight to the front seat as they climbed, Andr thought this ride on a motorcycle was mucho, mucho. He had never been on a motorcycle before and now they were climbing a mountain in the midst of all the movement that was going to an attack and, as they climbed, he knew now there was no problem of ever being back in time for the assault on the posts. In this movement and confusion he would be lucky to get back by the next night. He had never seen an offensive or any of the preparations for one before and as they rode up the road he marvelled at the size and power of this army that the Republic had built. Now they rode on a long slanting, rising stretch of road that ran across the face of the mountain and the grade was so steep as they neared the top that Gomez told him to get down and together they pushed the motorcycle up the last steep grade of the pass. At the left, just past the top, there was a loop of road where cars could turn and there were lights winking in front of a big stone building that bulked long and dark against the night sky. Let us go to ask there where the headquarters is, Gomez said to Andr and they wheeled the motorcycle over to where two sentries stood in front of the closed door of the great stone building. Gomez leaned the motorcycle against the wall as a motorcyclist in a leather suit, showing against the light from inside the building as the door opened, came out of the door with a dispatch case hung over his shoulder, a wooden-holstered Mauser pistol swung against his hip. As the light went off, he found his motorcycle in the dark by the door, pushed it until it sputtered and caught, then roared off up the road. At the door Gomez spoke to one of the sentries. Captain Gomez of the Sixty-Fifth Brigade, he said. Can you tell me where to find the headquarters of General Golz commanding the ThirtyFifth Division? It isn't here, the sentry said. What is here? The Comandancia. What comandancia? Well, the Comandancia. The comandancia of what? Who art thou to ask so many questions? the sentry said to Gomez in the dark. Here on the top of the pass the sky was very clear with the stars out and Andr, out of the dust now, could see quite clearly in the dark. Below them, where the road turned to the right, he could see clearly the outline of the trucks and cars that passed against the sky line. I am Captain Rogelio Gomez of the first battalion of the Sixty-Fifth Brigade and I ask where is the headquarters of General Golz, Gomez said. The sentry opened the door a little way. Call the corporal of the guard, he shouted inside. Just then a big staff car came up over the turn of the road and circled toward the big stone building where Andr and Gomez were standing waiting for the corporal of the guard. It came toward them and stopped outside the door. A large man, old and heavy, in an oversized khaki beret, such as _chasseurs a pied_ wear in the French Army, wearing an overcoat, carrying a map case and wearing a pistol strapped around his greatcoat, got out of the back of the car with two other men in the uniform of the International Brigades. He spoke in French, which Andr did not understand and of which Gomez, who had been a barber, knew only a few words, to his chauffeur telling him to get the car away from the door and into shelter. As he came into the door with the other two officers, Gomez saw his face clearly in the light and recognized him. He had seen him at political meetings and he had often read articles by him in Mundo Obrero translated from the French. He recognized his bushy eyebrows, his watery gray eyes, his chin and the double chin under it, and he knew him for one of France's great modern revolutionary figures who had led the mutiny of the French Navy in the Black Sea. Gomez knew this man's high political place in the International Brigades and he knew this man would know where Golz's headquarters were and be able to direct him there. He did not know what this man had become with time, disappointment, bitterness both domestic and political, and thwarted ambition and that to question him was one of the most dangerous things that any man could do. Knowing nothing of this he stepped forward into the path of this man, saluted with his clenched fist and said, Comrade Marty, we are the bearers of a dispatch for General Golz. Can you direct us to his headquarters? It is urgent. The tall, heavy old man looked at Gomez with his outthrust head and considered him carefully with his watery eyes. Even here at the front in the light of a bare electric bulb, he having just come in from driving in an open car on a brisk night, his gray face had a look of decay. His face looked as though it were modelled from the waste material you find under the claws of a very old lion. You have what, Comrade? he asked Gomez, speaking Spanish with a strong Catalan accent. His eyes glanced sideways at Andr, slid over him, and went back to Gomez. A dispatch for General Golz to be delivered at his headquarters, Comrade Marty. Where is it from, Comrade? From behind the fascist lines, Gomez said. Andr?Marty extended his hand for the dispatch and the other papers. He glanced at them and put them in his pocket. Arrest them both, he said to the corporal of the guard. Have them searched and bring them to me when I send for them. With the dispatch in his pocket he strode on into the interior of the big stone house. Outside in the guard room Gomez and Andr were being searched by the guard. What passes with that man? Gomez said to one of the guards. _Est?loco_, the guard said. He is crazy. No. He is a political figure of great importance, Gomez said. He is the chief commissar of the International Brigades. _Apesar de eso, est?loco_, the corporal of the guard said. All the same he's crazy. What do you behind the fascist lines? This comrade is a guerilla from there, Gomez told him while the man searched him. He brings a dispatch to General Golz. Guard well my papers. Be careful with that money and that bullet on the string. It is from my first wound at Guadarama. Don't worry, the corporal said. Everything will be in this drawer. Why didn't you ask me where Golz was? We tried to. I asked the sentry and he called you. But then came the crazy and you asked him. No one should ask him anything. He is crazy. Thy Golz is up the road three kilometers from here and to the right in the rocks of the forest. Can you not let us go to him now? Nay. It would be my head. I must take thee to the crazy. Besides, he has thy dispatch. Can you not tell some one? Yes, the corporal said. I will tell the first responsible one I see. All know that he is crazy. I had always taken him for a great figure, Gomez said. For one of the glories of France. He may be a glory and all, the corporal said and put his hand on Andr's shoulder. But he is crazy as a bedbug. He has a mania for shooting people. Truly shooting them? _Como lo oyes_, the corporal said. That old one kills more than the bubonic plague. _Mata m que la peste bubonica_. But he doesn't kill fascists like we do. _Qu?va_. Not in joke. _Mata bichos raros_. He kills rare things. Trotzkyites. Divagationers. Any type of rare beasts. Andr did not understand any of this. When we were at Escorial we shot I don't know how many for him, the corporal said. We always furnish the firing party. The men of the Brigades would not shoot their own men. Especially the French. To avoid difficulties it is always us who do it. We shot French. We have shot Belgians. We have shot others of divers nationality. Of all types. _Tiene mania de fusilar gente_. Always for political things. He's crazy. _Purifica m que el Salvars醤_. He purifies more than Salvarsan. 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Yes, man. Surely. I know every one of these two Brigades. Every one comes through here. I know even up to and through the Russians, although only a few speak Spanish. We will keep this crazy from shooting Spaniards. But the dispatch. The dispatch, too. Do not worry, Comrade. We know how to deal with this crazy. He is only dangerous with his own people. We understand him now. Bring in the two prisoners, came the voice of Andr?Marty. _Quereis echar un trago?_ the corporal asked. Do you want a drink? Why not?]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[31]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzikgainer/archives/2010/7033.html</link>
<author>juzikgainer</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-9 10:08:36</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[I am all right, Agust said. Man, but I am content we are started. Speak softly, Anselmo said. From now on speak little and softly. Walking carefully, downhill, Anselmo in the lead, Agust next, Robert Jordan placing his feet carefully so that he would not slip, feeling the dead pine needles under his rope-soled shoes, bumping a tree root with one foot and putting a hand forward and feeling the cold metal jut of the automatic rifle barrel and the folded legs of the tripod, then working sideways down the hill, his shoes sliding and grooving the forest floor, putting his left hand out again and touching the rough bark of a tree trunk, then as he braced himself his hand feeling a smooth place, the base of the palm of his hand coming away sticky from the resinous sap where a blaze had been cut, they dropped down the steep wooded hillside to the point above the bridge where Robert Jordan and Anselmo had watched the first day. Now Anselmo was halted by a pine tree in the dark and he took Robert Jordan's wrist and whispered, so low Jordan could hardly hear him, Look. There is the fire in his brazier. It was a point of light below where Robert Jordan knew the bridge joined the road. Here is where we watched, Anselmo said. He took Robert Jordan's hand and bent it down to touch a small fresh blaze low on a tree trunk. This I marked while thou watched. To the right is where thou wished to put the _muina_. We will place it there. Good. They put the packs down behind the base of the pine trunks and the two of them followed Anselmo over to the level place where there was a clump of seedling pines. It is here, Anselmo said. Just here. From here, with daylight, Robert Jordan crouched behind the small trees whispered to Agust, thou wilt see a small stretch of road and the entrance to the bridge. Thou wilt see the length of the bridge and a small stretch of road at the other end before it rounds the curve of the rocks. Agust said nothing. Here thou wilt lie while we prepare the exploding and fire on anything that comes from above or below. Where is that light? Agust asked. In the sentry box at this end, Robert Jordan whispered. Who deals with the sentries? The old man and I, as I told thee. But if we do not deal with them, thou must fire into the sentry boxes and at them if thou seest them. Yes. You told me that. After the explosion when the people of Pablo come around that corner, thou must fire over their heads if others come after them. Thou must fire high above them when they appear in any event that others must not come. Understandest thou? Why not? It is as thou saidst last night. Hast any questions? Nay. I have two sacks. I can load them from above where it will not be seen and bring them here. But do no digging here. Thou must be as well hid as we were at the top. Nay. I will bring the dirt in them in the dark. You will see. They will not show as I will fix them. Thou are very close. _Sabes?_ In the daylight this clump shows clearly from below. Do not worry, _Ingl_. Where goest thou? I go close below with the small _muina_ of mine. The old man will cross the gorge now to be ready for the box of the other end. It faces in that direction. Then nothing more, said Agust. _Salud, Ingl_. Hast thou tobacco? Thou canst not smoke. It is too close. Nay. Just to hold in the mouth. To smoke later. Robert Jordan gave him his cigarette case and Agust took three cigarettes and put them inside the front flap of his herdsman's flat cap. He spread the legs of his tripod with the gun muzzle in the low pines and commenced unpacking his load by touch and laying the things where he wanted them. _Nada mas_, he said. Well, nothing more. Anselmo and Robert Jordan left him there and went back to where the packs were. Where had we best leave them? Robert Jordan whispered. I think here. But canst thou be sure of the sentry with thy small _muina_ from here? Is this exactly where we were on that day? The same tree, Anselmo said so low Jordan could barely hear him and he knew he was speaking without moving his lips as he had spoken that first day. I marked it with my knife. Robert Jordan had the feeling again of it all having happened before, but this time it came from his own repetition of a query and Anselmo's answer. It had been the same with Agust, who had asked a question about the sentries although he knew the answer. It is close enough. Even too close, he whispered. But the light is behind us. We are all right here. Then I will go now to cross the gorge and be in position at the other end, Anselmo said. Then he said, Pardon me, _Ingl_. So that there is no mistake. In case I am stupid. What? he breathed very softly. Only to repeat it so that I will do it exactly. When I fire, thou wilt fire. When thy man is eliminated, cross the bridge to me. I will have the packs down there and thou wilt do as I tell thee in the placing of the charges. Everything I will tell thee. If aught happens to me do it thyself as I showed thee. Take thy time and do it well, wedging all securely with the wooden wedges and lashing the grenades firmly. It is all clear to me, Anselmo said. I remember it all. Now I go. Keep thee well covered, _Ingl_, when daylight comes. When thou firest, Robert Jordan said, take a rest and make very sure. Do not think of it as a man but as a target, _de acuerdo?_ Do not shoot at the whole man but at a point. Shoot for the exact center of the belly--if he faces thee. At the middle of the back, if he is looking away. Listen, old one. When I fire if the man is sitting down he will stand up before he runs or crouches. Shoot then. If he is still sitting down shoot. Do not wait. But make sure. Get to within fifty yards. Thou art a hunter. Thou hast no problem. I will do as thou orderest, Anselmo said. Yes. I order it thus, Robert Jordan said. I'm glad I remembered to make it an order, he thought. That helps him out. That takes some of the curse off. I hope it does, anyway. Some of it. I had forgotten about what he told me that first day about the killing. It is thus I have ordered, he said. Now go. _Me voy_, said Anselmo. Until soon, _Ingl_. Until soon, old one, Robert Jordan said. He remembered his father in the railway station and the wetness of that farewell and he did not say _Salud_ nor good-by nor good luck nor anything like that. Hast wiped the oil from the bore of thy gun, old one? he whispered. So it will not throw wild? In the cave, Anselmo said. 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Now the clip was heavy again in his hand and he slid it back into the submachine gun and felt it click home. He lay on his belly behind the pine trunk, the gun across his left forearm and watched the point of light below him. Sometimes he could not see it and then he knew that the man in the sentry box had moved in front of the brazier. Robert Jordan lay there and waited for daylight.]]></description>
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