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<title>油画第一网</title>
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<title><![CDATA[36]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7058.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-16 16:05:45</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Marita looked at him again and he knew what she was trying to tell him and he said, I have to go get cleaned up. You tell Marita about it and I'll be back. We have other things to talk about, Catherine said. I'm sorry I was rude about you and Marita. I couldn't be happier about you really. David took everything that had been said in with him to the bathroom where he had a shower and changed into a newly washed fisherman's sweater and slacks. It was quite cool now in the evening and Marita was sitting at the bar looking at Vogue. She's gone down to see about your room, Marita said. How is she? How should I know, David? She's a very great publisher now. She's given up sex. It doesn't interest her anymore. It's childish really, she says. She doesn't know how it could ever have meant anything to her. But she may decide to have an affair with another woman if she ever takes it up again. There's quite a bit about another woman. Christ I never thought it would go this way. Don't, Marita said. No matter what or how it is I love you and you are going to write tomorrow. Catherine came in and said, You look wonderful together and I'm so proud. I feel as though I'd invented you. Was he good today, Marita? We had a nice lunch, Marita said. Please be fair, Catherine. Oh I know he's a satisfactory lover, Catherine said. He's always that. That's just like his martinis or how he swims or skis or flew probably. I never saw him with a plane. Everyone says he was marvelous. It's like acrobats really I suppose and just as dull. I wasn't asking about that. You were very good to let us spend a day together, Catherine, Marita said. You can spend the rest of your lives together, Catherine said. If you don't bore each other. I have no further need of either of you. David was watching her in the mirror and she looked calm, handsome and normal. He could see Marita looking at her very sadly. I do like to look at you though and I'd like to hear you talk if you'd ever open your mouths. How do you do, said David. That was quite a good effort, Catherine said. I'm very well. Have any new plans? David asked. He felt as though he were hailing a ship. Only what I've told you, Catherine went on. They'll prob ably keep me quite busy. What was all the guff about another woman? He felt Marita kick him and he put his foot on hers to acknowledge. 190 '9' . . That's not guff, Catherine said. I want to have one more try to see if I've missed anything. I might have. All of us are fallible, David said and Marita kicked him again. I want to see, Catherine said. I know enough about that now so I should be able to tell. Don't worry about your dark girl. She's not my type at all. She's yours. She's what you like and very nice it is but not for me. I'm not attracted to the gamin type. Perhaps I am a gamin, Marita said. That's a very polite word for that part. But I'm also more of a woman than you are Catherine. Go ahead and show David what sort of gamin you are. He'd like it. He knows what sort of woman I am. That's splendid, Catherine said. I'm glad you both found your tongues finally. I do prefer conversation. You aren't really a woman at all, Marita said. I know it, Catherine said. I've tried to explain it to David often enough. Isn't that true, David? David looked at her and said nothing. Didn't I? Yes, he said. I did try and I broke myself in pieces in Madrid to be a girl and all it did was break me in pieces, Catherine said. Now all I am is through. You're a girl and a boy both and you really are. You don't have to change and it doesn't kill you and I'm not. And now I'm nothing. All I wanted was for David and you to be happy. Everything else I invent. Marita said, I know it and I try to tell David. I know you do. But you don't have to be loyal to me or to anything. Don't do it. Nobody would anyway and you probably aren't really. But I tell you not to be. I want you to be happy and make him happy. You can too and I can't and I know it. 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I'm finished before I ever started. No. I'm the one, Marita said. I was stupid and awful. You weren't stupid. Everything you said was true. Let's stop talking and be friends. Can we? Can we please? Marita asked her. I want to, Catherine said. And not be such a tragic bully. Please take your time about the book, David. You know all I want is for you to write the best you can. That's what we started with. I'm over it now whatever this one was. You were just tired, David said. I don't think you ate any lunch either. Probably not, Catherine said. But I may have. Can we forget it all now though and just be friends? So they were friends; whatever friends are, David thought, and tried not think but talked and listened in the unreality that reality had become. He had heard each one speak about the other and he knew each must know what the other thought and probably what they each had told him. In that way they really were friends, understanding in their basic disagreement, trusting in their complete distrust and enjoying one another's company. He enjoyed their company too but tonight he'd had enough of it. Tomorrow he must go back into his own country, the one that Catherine was jealous of and that Marita loved and respected. He had been happy in the country of the story and knew that it was too good to last and now he was back from what he cared about into the overpopulated vacancy of madness that had taken, now the new turn of exaggerated practicality. He was tired of it and he was tired of Marita's collaborating with her enemy. Catherine was not his enemy except as she was himself in the unfinding unrealizable quest that is love and so was her own enemy. She needs an enemy so badly always that she has to keep one near and she's the nearest and the easiest to attack knowing]]></description>
</item><item>
<title><![CDATA[35]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7057.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-16 16:02:25</pubDate>
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And when he woke it was in the moonlight and she had made the dark magic of the change again and he did not say no when she spoke to him and asked the questions and he felt the change so that it hurt him all through and when it was finished after they were both exhausted she was shaking and she whispered to him, Now we have done it. Now we really have done it. Yes, he thought. Now we have really done it. And when she went to sleep suddenly like a tired young girl and lay beside him lovely in the moonlight that showed the beautiful new strange line of her head as she slept on her side he leaned over and said to her but not aloud, I'm with you. No matter what else you have in your head I'm with you and I love you. In the morning he had been very hungry for breakfast but he waited for her to wake. He kissed her finally and she woke and smiled and got up sleepily and washed in the big basin and slouched in front of the mirror of the armoire and brushed her hair and looked at the mirror unsmiling and then smiled and touched her cheeks with the tips of her fingers and pulled a striped shirt over her head and then kissed him. She stood straight so her breasts pushed against his chest and she said, Don't worry, David. I'm your good girl come back again. But he was very worried now and he thought what will become of us if things have gone this wildly and this dangerously and this fast? What can there be that will not burn out in a fire that rages like that? We were happy and I am sure she was happy. But who ever knows? And who are you to judge and who participated and who accepted the change and lived it? If that is what she wants who are you not to wish her to have it? You're lucky to have a wife like her and a sin is what you feel bad after and you don't feel bad. Not with the wine you don't feel bad, he told himself, and what will you drink when the wine won't cover for you? He took the bottle of oil out of the rucksack and put a little oil on the girl's chin and on her cheeks and on her nose and found a blue faded patterned handkerchief in the canvas pocket of the rucksack and laid it across her breast. Must I stop? the girl asked. I'm having the most wonderful dream. Finish the dream, he said. Thank you. In a few minutes she breathed very deeply and shook her head and sat up. Let's go in now, she said. They went in together and swam out and then played under water like porpoises. When they swam in they dried each other off with towels and he handed her the bottle of wine that was still cool in the rolled newspaper and they each took a drink and she looked at him and laughed. It's nice to drink it for thirst, she said. You don't really mind being brothers do you? No. He touched her forehead and her nose and then her cheeks and chin with the oil and then put it carefully above and behind her ears. I want to get behind my ears and neck tanned and over my cheekbones. All the new places. You're awfully dark, brother, he said. You don't know how dark. I like it, the girl said. But I want to be darker. They lay on the beach on the firm sand that was dry now but still cool after the high tide had fallen. The young man put some oil on the palm of his hand and spread it lightly with his fingers over the girl's thighs and they glowed warm as the skin took the oil. He went on spreading it over her belly and breasts and the girl said sleepily, We don't look very much like brothers when we're this way do we? No. I'm trying to be such a very good girl, she said. Truly you don't have to worry darling until night. We won't let the night things come in the day. At the hotel the postman was having a drink while he waited for the girl to sign for a large forwarding envelope heavy with enclosed letters from her bank in Paris. There were three letters re-addressed from his bank, too. It was the first mail since they had sent the hotel as a forwarding address. The young man gave the postman five francs and asked him to have another glass of wine with him at the zinc bar. The girl unhooked the key from the board and said, I'll go up to the room and get cleaned up and meet you at the cafe. After he finished his glass he said goodbye to the postman and walked down along the canal to the cafe. It was good to sit in the shade after walking back bareheaded in the sun from the far beach and it was pleasant and cool in the cafe. He ordered a vermouth and soda and took out his pocket knife and slit open his letters. All three envelopes were from his publishers and two of them were fat with clippings and the proofs of advertisements. He glanced at the clippings and then read the long letter. It was cheerful and guardedly optimistic. It was too early to tell how the book would do but everything looked good. Most of the reviews were excellent. Of course there were some. But that was to be expected. Sentences had been underlined in the reviews that would probably be used in the future advertisements. His publisher wished he could say more about how the book would do but he never made predictions as to sales. It was bad practice. The point was that the book could not have been better received. The reception was sensational really. But he would see the clippings. The first printing had been five thousand copies and on the strength of the reviews a second printing had been ordered. The upcoming advertisements would carry the phrase Now in Its Second Printing. His publisher hoped that he was as happy as he deserved to be and taking the rest that he so richly deserved. He sent his best greetings to his wife. The young man borrowed a pencil from the waiter and com menced to multiply $2.50 by one thousand. That was easy. Ten percent of that was two hundred and fifty dollars. Five times that was twelve hundred and fifty dollars. Deduct seven hundred and fifty dollars for the advance. That left five hundred dollars earned by the first printing. Now there was the second printing. Say that was two thousand. That was twelve and a half percent of five thousand dollars. If that was how the contract was. That would be six hundred and twenty-five dollars. But maybe it did not go up to twelve and a half percent until ten thousand. Well it was still five hundred dollars. That would still leave a thousand. He started to read the reviews and found that he had drunk the vermouth without ever noticing it. He ordered another and returned the pencil to the waiter. He was still reading the reviews when the girl came in bringing her heavy envelope of letters. I didn't know they'd come, she said. Let me see them. Please let me see them. The waiter brought her a vermouth and putting it down saw the picture as the girl unfolded a clipping. C'est Monsieur? he asked. Yes it is, the girl said and held it up for him to see. But differently dressed, the waiter said. Do they write about the marriage? May I see a picture of Madame? Not about the marriage. Criticisms of a book by Monsieur. Magnificent, said the waiter who was deeply moved. Is Madame also a writer? No, the girl said not looking up from the clippings. Madame is a housewife. The waiter laughed proudly. Madame is probably in the cinema. They both read clippings and then the girl put the one she was reading down and said, I'm frightened by them and all the things they say. How can we be us and have the things we have and do what we do and you be this that's in the clippings? I've had them before, the young man said. They're bad for you but it doesn't last. They're terrible, she said. They could destroy you if you thought about them or believed them. You don't think I married you because you are what they say you are in these clippings do you? No. I want to read them and then we'll seal them up in the envelope. I know you have to read them. I don't want to be stupid about them. But even in an envelope it's awful to have them with us. It's like bringing along somebody's ashes in a jar. Plenty of people would be happy if their damned husbands had good reviews. I'm not plenty of people and you're not my damned husband. Please let's not fight. We won't. You read them and if there's anything good you tell me and if they say anything about the book that's intelligent that we don't know you tell me. The book's made some money already, he told her. That's wonderful. I'm so glad. But we know it's good. If the reviews had said it was worthless and it never made a cent I would have been just as proud and just as happy. I wouldn't, the young man thought. But he did not say it. He went on reading the reviews, unfolding them and folding them up again and putting them back in the envelope. The girl sat opening envelopes and reading her letters without interest. Then she looked out of the cafe at the sea. Her face was a dark gold brown and she had brushed her hair straight back from her forehead the way the sea had pulled it when she had come out of the water and where it was cropped close and on her cheeks the sun had burned it to white gold against the brown of her skin. She looked out at the sea and her eyes were very sad. Then she went back to opening letters. There was one long typewritten one that she read with concentration. Then she went on opening and reading the other letters. The young man looked at her and thought she looked a little as though she were shelling peas. What was in the letters? the young man asked. There were checks in some. Big ones? Two. That's fine, he said. Don't go away like that. You always said it never made any difference. Have I said anything? No. You just went away. I'm sorry, he said. How big are they? Not much really. But good for us. They've been deposited. It's because I'm married. I told you it was the best thing for us to be married. I know it doesn't mean anything as capital but this is spendable. We can spend it and it doesn't hurt anybody and it's for that. It doesn't have anything to do with regular income nor what I get if I live to be twenty-five or if I ever live to be thirty. This is ours for anything we want to do. Neither of us will have to worry about balances for a while. It's that simple. The book has paid back the advance and made about a thousand dollars, he said. Isn't that awfully good when it's only just come out? It's all right. Should we have another one of these? he asked.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[34]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7056.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-16 15:59:46</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Well, Catherine said, is there any reason then why I can't read this extraordinary story? I did put up the money for it. You did what? David asked. Perhaps not exactly. You did have fifteen hundred dollars when you married me and that book about all the mad fliers has sold, hasn't it? You never tell me how much. But I did put up a substantial sum and you must admit you've lived more com fortably than you did before you married me. The girl did not say anything and David watched the waiter setting the table on the terrace. He looked at his watch. It was about twenty minutes before the time they usually had lunch. I'd like to go in and clean up if I may, he said. Don't be so bloody false polite, Catherine said. Why can't I read the story? It's just written in pencil. It hasn't even been copied. You wouldn't want to read it that way. Marita read it that way. Read it after lunch then. I want to read it now, David. I really wouldn't read it before lunch. Is it disgusting? It's a story about Africa back before the 1914 War. In the time of the Maji-Maji War. The native rebellion of 1905 in Tanganyika. I didn't know you wrote historical novels. I wish you'd leave it alone, David said. It's a story that happens in Africa when I was about eight years old. I want to read it. David had gone to the far end of the bar and was shaking dice out of a leather cup. The girl sat on a stool next to Catherine. He watched her watching Catherine as she read. It starts very well, she said. Though your handwriting is atrocious. The country is superb. The passage. What Marita miscalled the pastorale part. She put down the first notebook and the girl picked it up and held it on her lap, her eyes still watching Catherine. Catherine read on and said nothing now. She was halfway through the second part. Then she tore the cahier in two and threw it on the floor. It's horrible, she said. It's bestial. So that was what your father was like. No, said David. But that was one way he was. You didn't finish it. Nothing would make me finish it. I didn't want you to read it at all. No. You both conspired to make me read it. May I have the key, David, to lock it up? the girl asked. She had retrieved the torn halves of the notebook from the floor. It was just ripped apart. It was not torn across. David gave her his key. It's even more horrible written in that child's notebook, Catherine said. You're a monster. It was a very odd rebellion, David said. You're a very odd person to write about it, she said. I asked you not to read the story. She was crying now. I hate you, she said. They were in their room in bed and it was late. She'll go away and you'll have me shut up or put away, Catherine said. No. That isn't true. But you suggested we go to Switzerland. If you were worried we could see a good doctor. The same way we'd go to the dentist. No. They'd shut me up. I know. Everything that's innocent to us is crazy to them. I know about those places. It's an easy drive and beautiful. We'd go by Aix and St. Remy and up the Rh6ne from Lyon to Geneva. We'd see him and get some good advice and make a fun trip out of it. I won't go. A very good intelligent doctor that— I won't go. Didn't you hear me? I won't go. I won't go. Do you want me to scream? All right. Don't think about it now. Just try to sleep. If I don't have to go. We don't have to. I'll sleep then. Are you going to work in the morning? Yes. I might as well. You'll work well, she said. I know you will. Good night David. You sleep well too. He did not sleep for a long time. When he did he had dreams of Africa. They were good dreams until the one that woke him. He got up then and went direct from that dream to work. He was well into the new story before the sun came up out of the sea and he did not look up from where he was to see how red the sun was. In the story he was waiting for the moon to rise and he felt his dog's hair rise under his hand as he stroked him to be quiet and they both watched and listened as the moon came up and gave them shadows. His arm was around the dog's neck now and he could feel him shivering. All of the night sounds had stopped. They did not hear the elephant and David did not see him until the dog turned his head and seemed to settle into David. Then the elephant's shadow covered them and he moved past making no noise at all and they smelled him in the light wind that came down from the mountain. He smelled strong but old and sour and when he was past David saw that the left tusk was so long it seemed to reach the ground. They waited but no other elephants came by and then David and the dog started off running in the moonlight. The dog kept close behind him and when David stopped the dog pressed his muzzle into the back of his knee. David had to see the bull again and they came up on him at the edge of the forest. He was travelling toward the mountain and slowly now moving into the steady night breeze. David came close enough to see him cut off the moon again and to smell the sour oldness but he could not see the right tusk. He was afraid to work closer with the dog and he took him back with the wind and pushed him down against the base of a tree and tried to make him understand. He thought the dog would stay and he did but when David moved up toward the bulk of the elephant again he felt the wet muzzle against the hollow of his knee. The two of them followed the elephant until he came to an opening in the trees. He stood there moving his huge ears. His bulk was in the shadow but the moon would be on his head. David reached behind him and closed the dog's jaws gently with his hand and then moved softly and unbreathing to his right along the edge of the night breeze feeling it on his cheek, edging with it, never letting it get between him and the bulk until he could see the elephant's head and the great ears slowly moving. The right tusk was as thick as his own thigh and it curved down almost to the ground. He and the dog moved back, the wind on his neck now, and they backtracked out of the forest and into the open park country. The dog was ahead of him now and he stopped where David had left the two hunting spears by the trail when they had followed the elephant. He swung them over his shoulder in their thong and leather cup harness and, with his best spear that he had kept with him all the time in his hand, they started on the trail for the shamba. The moon was high now and he wondered why there was no drumming from the shamba. Something was strange if his father was there and there was no drumming. 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She shouldn't go to Madrid either. Spain is a bad place to crack up. I feel as though we'd been married all our lives and never had anything but problems. She pushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him. Do you want to swim now? Yes. Let's dive from the high rock. The really high one. You do, she said. I'll swim out and you dive over my head. All right. But hold still when I dive. See how close you can come. Looking up, she watched him poised on the high rock, arced brown against the blue sky. Then he came toward her and the water rose in a spout from a hole in the water behind her shoulder. He turned under water and came up in front of her and shook his head. I cut it too fine, he said. They swam out to the point and back and then wiped each other dry and dressed on the beach. You really liked me diving that close? I loved it. He kissed her and she felt cool and fresh from the swimming and she still tasted of the sea. Catherine came in while they were still sitting at the bar. She was tired and quiet and polite.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[33]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7055.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-3 15:37:24</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[The afternoon sun was in the window now and the room was too warm. The young man washed and put on his clothes and went down to walk on the beach. He knew he should swim but he was tired and after he had walked along the beach and then along a path through the salt grass that led inland for a way he went back along the beach to the port and climbed up to the cafe. In the cafe he found the paper and ordered himself a fine l'eau because he felt empty and hollow from making love. They had been married three weeks and had come down on the train from Paris to Avignon with their bicycles, a suitcase with their town clothes, and a rucksack and a musette bag. They stayed at a good hotel in Avignon and left the suitcase there and had thought that they would ride to the Pont du Gard. But the mistral was blowing so they rode with the mistral down to Nimes and stayed there at the Imperator and then had ridden down to Aigues Mortes still with the heavy wind behind them and then on to le Grau du Roi. They had been there ever since. It had been wonderful and they had been truly happy and he had not known that you could love anyone so much that you cared about nothing else and other things seemed inexistent. He had many problems when he married but he had thought of none of them here nor of writing nor of anything but being with this girl whom he loved and was married to and he did not have the sudden deadly clarity that had always come after intercourse. That was gone. Now when they had made love they would eat and drink and make love again. It was a very simple world and he had never been truly happy in any other. He thought that it must be the same with her and certainly she acted in that way but today there had been this thing about the change and the surprise. But maybe it would be a happy change and a good surprise. The brandy and water as he drank it and read the local paper made him look forward to whatever it was. This was the first time since they had come on the wedding trip that he had taken a drink of brandy or whiskey when they were not together. But he was not working and his only rules about drinking were never to drink before or while he was working. It would be good to work again but that would come soon enough as he well knew and he must remember to be unselfish about it and make it as clear as he could that the enforced loneliness was regrettable and that he was not proud of it. He was sure she would be fine about it and she had her own resources but he hated to think of it, the work, starting when they were as they were now. It never could start of course without the clarity and he wondered if she knew that and if that was why she drove beyond what they had for something new that nothing could break. But what could it be? They could not be held tighter together than they were now and there was no bad ness afterwards. There was only happiness and loving each other and then hunger and replenishing and starting over. He found that he had drunk the fine a l'eau and that it was getting late in the afternoon. He ordered another and started to concentrate on the paper. But the paper did not interest him as it should and he was looking out at the sea with late afternoon sun heavy on it when he heard her come into the cafe and say in her throaty voice, Hello darling. She came quickly to the table and sat down and lifted her chin and looked at him with the laughing eyes and the golden face with the tiny freckles. Her hair was cropped as short as a boy's. It was cut with no compromises. It was brushed back, heavy as always, but the sides were cut short and the ears that grew close to her head were clear and the tawny line of her hair was cropped close to her head and smooth and sweeping back. She turned her head and lifted her breasts and said, Kiss me please. He kissed her and looked at her face and at her hair and he kissed her again. Do you like it? Feel it how smooth. Feel it in back, she said. He felt it in back. Feel on my cheek and feel in front of my ear. Run your fingers up at the sides. You see, she said. That's the surprise. I'm a girl. But now I'm a boy too and I can do anything and anything and anything. Sit here by me, he said. What do you want, brother. Oh thank you, she said. I'll take what you're having. You see why it's dangerous, don't you? Yes. I see. But wasn't I good to do it? Maybe. Not maybe. No. I thought about it. I've thought all about it. Why do we have to go by everyone else's rules? We're us. We were having a good time and I didn't feel any rules. Would you please just put your hand over it again. He did and he kissed her. Oh you're sweet, she said. And you do like it. I can feel and I can tell. You don't have to love it. Just like it at first. I like it, he said. And you have such a beautifully shaped head that it is very beautiful with the lovely bones of your face. Don't you like it at the sides? she asked. It isn't faked or phony. It's a true boy's haircut and not from any beauty shop. Who cut it? The coiffeur at Aigues Mortes. The one who cut your hair a week ago. You told him how you wanted yours cut then and I told him to cut mine just the same as yours. He was very nice and wasn't at all surprised. He wasn't worried at all. He said exactly like yours? And I said exactly. Doesn't it do anything to you, David? Yes, he said. Stupid people will think it is strange. But we must be proud. I love to be proud. So do I, he said. We'll start being proud now. They sat there in the cafe and watched the reflection of the setting sun over the water and watched the dusk come to the town and they drank the fine l'eau. People came by the cafe without being rude to see the girl because they had been the only foreigners in the village and had been there now nearly three weeks and she was a great beauty and they liked her. Then there had been the big fish today and ordinarily there would have been much talk about that but this other was a big thing in the village too. No decent girls had ever had their hair cut short like that in this part of the country and even in Paris it was rare and strange and could be beautiful or could be very bad. It could mean too much or it could only mean showing the beautiful shape of a head that could never be shown as well. They ate a steak for dinner, rare, with mashed potatoes and flageolets and a salad and the girl asked if they might drink Tavel. It is a great wine for people that are in love, she said. She had always looked, he thought, exactly her age which was now twenty-one. He had been very proud of her for that. But tonight she did not look it. The lines of her cheekbones showed clear as he had never seen them before and she smiled and her face was heartbreaking. In the room it was dark with only a little light from outside. It was cool now with the breeze and the top sheet was gone from the bed. Dave, you don't mind if we've gone to the devil, do you? No, girl, he said. Don't call me girl. Where I'm holding you you are a girl, he said. He held her tight around her breasts and he opened and closed his fingers feeling her and the hard erect freshness between his fingers. They're just my dowry, she said. The new is my surprise. Feel. No leave them. They'll be there. Feel my cheeks and the back of my neck. Oh it feels so wonderful and good and clean and new. Please love me David the way I am. Please under stand and love me. He had shut his eyes and he could feel the long light weight of her on him and her breasts pressing against him and her lips on his. He lay there and felt something and then her hand holding him and searching lower and he helped with his hands and then lay back in the dark and did not think at all and only felt the weight and the strangeness inside and she said, Now you can't tell who is who can you? You are changing, she said. Oh you are. You are. Yes you are and you're my girl Catherine. Will you change and be my girl and let me take you? You're Catherine. No. I'm Peter. You're my wonderful Catherine. You're my beautiful lovely Catherine. You were so good to change. Oh thank you, Catherine, so much. Please understand. Please know and understand. I'm going to make love to you forever. At the end they were both dead and empty but it was not over. They lay side by side in the dark with their legs touching and her head was on his arm. The moon had risen and there was a little more light in the room. She ran her hand exploringly down over his belly without looking and said, You don't think I'm wicked? Of course not. But how long have you thought about that? Not all the time. But quite a lot. You were so wonderful to let it happen. The young man put his arms around the girl and held her very tight to him and felt her lovely breasts against his chest and kissed her on her dear mouth. He held her close and hard and inside himself he said goodbye and then goodbye and goodbye. Let's lie very still and quiet and hold each other and not think at all, he said and his heart said goodbye Catherine good bye my lovely girl goodbye and good luck and goodbye. <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_7494.htm">2.5-inch TFT LCD Digital Camcorder,12MP,3.1M CMOS,8X Digital Zoom,DV-185</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_2835.htm">10pcs/lot AV880 Stereo Bluetooth Headset</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/iphone-accessories-st2-sid274.html">china wholesale iphone accessories</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_4669.htm">Rearview Mirror LED Display Parking Sensor</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_4261.htm">headrest dvd player</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_4194.htm">sciphone wholesale</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_6928.htm">H1188 Quad Band Dual Card With Java Analog TV Unlocked Cell Phone</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/">buy china cell phone</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/">cheapest mp3 players</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_4589.htm">8.5-inch LCD Headrest Car Monitor</A> <A href="http://www.davismicro.com/products/product_6019.htm">Dock for iPhone 3G &amp; 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He looked at the girl on her back on the sloping beach, her eyes closed, her arms against her sides, and behind her the slanted square of canvas and the first tufts of beach grass. She ought not to stay too long in that position with the sun straight up and down on her, he thought. Then he walked out and dove flat into the clear cold water and turned on his back and swam backstroke out to sea watching the beach beyond the steady beat of his legs and feet. He turned in the water and swam down to the bottom and touched the coarse sand and felt the heavy ridges of it and then came up to the surface and swam steadily in, seeing how slow he could keep the beat of his crawl. He walked up to the girl and saw that she was asleep. He found his wristwatch in the rucksack to check the time when he should wake her. There was a cold bottle of white wine wrapped in a newspaper and with their towels around it. He uncorked it without removing the paper or the towels and took a cool draught from the awkward bundle. Then he sat down to watch the girl and to look out to sea. This sea was always colder than it looked, he thought. It did not really warm until the middle of summer except on the shallow beaches. This beach dropped off quite suddenly and the water had been sharply cold until the swimming warmed him. He looked out at the sea and the high clouds and noticed how far the fishing fleet was working to the westward. Then he looked at the girl sleeping on the sand that was quite dry now and beginning to blow delicately with the rising wind when his feet stirred.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[32]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7054.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-15 15:09:18</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[As dark as I can. We'll have to see. I wish I had some Indian blood. I'm going to be so dark you won't be able to stand it. I can't wait to go up on the beach tomorrow. She went to sleep that way with her head back and her chin up as though she were in the sun on the beach, breathing softly, and then she curled toward him on her side and the young man lay awake and thought about the day. It is very possible that I couldn't get started, he thought, and it probably is sound to not think about it at all and just enjoy what we have. When I have to work I will. Nothing can stop that. The last book is good and I must make a better one now. This nonsense that we do is fun although I don't know how much of it is nonsense and how much is serious. Drinking brandy at noon is no damn good and already the simple aperitifs mean nothing. That is not a good sign. She changes from a girl into a boy and ba{ck to a girl care lessly and happily. She sleeps easily and beautifully and you will sleep too because all you truly know is that you feel good. You did not sell anything for the money, he thought. Everything she said about the money was true. Actually it all was true. Everything was free for a time. What was it that she had said about destruction? He could not remember that. She'd said it but he could not remember it. Then he was tired of trying to remember and he looked at the girl and kissed her cheek very lightly and she did not wake. He loved her very much and everything about her and he went to sleep thinking about her cheek against his lips and how the next day they would both be darker from the sun and how dark can she become, he thought, and how dark will she ever really be? IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON and the small low car came down from the black road across the hills and headlands with the dark blue ocean always on the right onto a deserted boulevard that bordered a flat beach of two miles of yellow sand at Hendaye. Well ahead on the ocean side was the bulk of a big hotel and a casino and on the left there were newly planted trees and Basque villas white washed and brown timbered set in their own trees and plantings. The two young people in the car rode down the boulevard slowly looking out at the magnificent beach and at the mountains of Spain that showed blue in this light as the car passed the casino and the big hotel and went on toward the end of the boulevard. Ahead was the mouth of the river that flowed into the ocean. The tide was out and across the bright sand they saw the ancient Spanish town and the green hills across the bay and, at the far point, the lighthouse. They stopped the car. It's a lovely place, the girl said. There's a cafe with tables under the trees, the young man said. Old trees. The trees are strange, the girl said. It's all new planting. I wonder why they planted mimosas. To compete with where we 'ye come from. I suppose so. It all looks awfully new. But it's a wonderful beach. I never saw such a big beach in France nor with such smooth and fine sand. Biarritz is a horror. Let's drive up by the cafe. They drove back up the right side of the road. The young man pulled the car to the curb and killed the iguition. They crossed to the outdoor cafe and it was pleasant to eat by them selves and be conscious of the people that they did not know eating at the other tables. That night the wind rose and in their corner room high up in the big hotel they heard the heavy fall of the surf on the beach. In the dark the young man pulled a light blanket up over the sheet and the girl said, Aren't you glad we decided to stay? I like to hear the surf pound. So do I. They lay close together and listened to the sea. Her head was on his chest and she moved it against his chin and then moved up in the bed and put her cheek against his and pressed it there. She kissed him and he could feel her hand touching him. That's good, she said in the darkness. That's lovely. You're sure you don't want me to change? Not now. Now I'm cold. Please hold me warm. I love you when you feel cold against me. If it gets this cold here at night we'll have to wear pyjama tops. That will be fun for breakfast in bed. It's the Atlantic ocean, she said. Listen to it. We'll have a good time while we're here, he told her. If you want we'll stay a while. If you want we'll go. There are plenty of places to go.. We might stay a few days and see. Good. If we do I'd like to start to write. That would be wonderful. We'll look around tomorrow. You could work here in the room if I were out couldn't you? Until we found some place? Sure. You know you must never worry about me because I love you and we're us against all the others. Please kiss me, she said. He kissed her. You know I haven't done anything bad to us. I had to do it. You know that. He did not say anything and listened to the weight of the surf falling on the hard wet sand in the night. The next morning there was still heavy surf and the rain came in gusts. They could not see the Spanish coast and when it cleared between the driven squalls of rain and they could see across the angry sea in the bay there were heavy clouds that came down to the base of the mountains. Catherine had gone out in a raincoat after breakfast and had left him to work in the room. It had gone so simply and easily that he thought it was probably worthless. Be careful, he said to himself, it is all very well for you to write simply and the simpler the better. But do not start to think so damned simply. Know how complicated it is and then state it simply. Do you suppose the Grau du Roi time was all simple because you could write a little of it simply? He went on writing in pencil in the cheap, lined, school notebook that was called a cahier and already numbered one in roman numeral. He stopped finally and put the notebook in a suitcase with a cardboard box of pencils and the cone-shaped sharpener, leaving the five pencils he had dulled to point up for the next day, and took his raincoat from the hanger in the closet and walked down the stairs to the lobby of the hotel. He looked into the hotel bar which was gloomy and pleasant in the rain and already had some customers and left his key at the desk. The assistant concierge reached into the mailbox as he hung up the key and said, Madame left this for Monsieur. He opened the note which said, David, didn't want to disturb you am at the cafe love Catherine. He put on the old trench coat, found a boina in the pocket and walked out of the hotel into the rain. She was at a corner table in the small cafe and before her was a clouded yellow-tinged drink and a plate with one small dark red freshwater crayfish and the debris of others. She was very far ahead of him. Where have you been, stranger? Just down the road a piece. He noticed that her face was rain-washed and he concentrated on what rain did to heavily tanned skin. She looked very nice too in spite of it and he was happy to see her this way. 'Did you get going? the girl asked. Good enough. You worked then. That's fine. The waiter had been serving three Spaniards who were sitting at a table next to the door. He came over now holding a glass and an ordinary Pernod bottle and a small narrow-lipped pitcher of water. There were lumps of ice in the water. Pour Monsieur aussi? he asked. Yes, the young man said. Please. The waiter poured their high glasses half full of the off-yellow liquid and started to pour the water slowly into the girl's glass. But the young man said, I'll do it, and the waiter took the bottle away. He seemed relieved to be taking it away and the young man poured the water in a very thin stream and the girl watched the absinthe cloud opalescently. 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In khaki with bicycles and black leather pistol holsters. I had to engulp the evidence. Engulp? Sorry. Once I engulped it I can't say it. You want to be careful about absinthe. It only makes me feel easier about things. And nothing else does? He finished making the absinthe for her, holding it well short of mildness. Go ahead, he told her. Don't wait for me. She took a long sip and then he took her glass from her and drank and said, Thank you, Ma'am. That puts heart in a man. So make your own, you clipping reader, she said. What was that? the young man said to her. I didn't say it. But she had said it and he said to her, Why don't you just shut up about the clippings. Why? she said, leaning toward him and speaking too loudly. Why should I shut up? Just because you wrote this morning? Do you think I married you because you re a writer? You and your clippings. All right, the young man said. Can you tell me the rest of it when we're by ourselves? Don't ever think for a moment I won't, she said. I guess not, he said.]]></description>
</item><item>
<title><![CDATA[31]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7053.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-15 15:07:07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Don't guess, she said. You can be certain. David Bourne stood up and went over to the hanger and lifted his raincoat and went out the door without looking back. At the table Catherine raised her glass and tasted the absinthe very carefully and went on tasting it in little sips. The door opened and David came back in and walked up to the table. He was wearing his trench coat and had his boina pulled low on his forehead. Do you have the keys to the car? Yes, she said. May I have them? She gave them to him but said, Don't be stupid, David. It was the rain and you being the only one who had worked. Sit down. Do you want me to? Please, she said. He sat down. That didn't make much sense, he thought. You got up to go out and take the damned car and stay out and the hell with her and then you come back in and have to ask for the key and then sit down like a slob. He picked up his glass and took a drink. The drink was good anyway. What are you going to do about lunch? he asked. You say where and I'll eat it with you. You do still love me, don't you? Don't be silly. That was a sordid quarrel, Catherine said. The first one It was my fault about the clippings. Let's not mention the god damned clippings. That's what it was all about. It was you thinking about them when you were drinking. Bringing them up because you were drinking. It sounds like regurgitating, she said. Awful. Actually my tongue just slipped making a joke. You had to have them in your head to bnng them out that way. All right, she said. I thought maybe it was all over. It is. Well why do you keep on insisting and insisting about it for then? We shouldn't have taken this drink. No. Of course not. Especially me. But you certainly needed it. Do you think it will do you any good? Do we have to do this now? he asked. I'm certainly going to stop it. It bores me. That's the one damned word in the language I can't stand. Lucky you with only one word like that in the language. Oh shit, he said. Eat lunch by yourself. No. I won't. We'll eat lunch together and behave like human beings. All right. I'm sorry. It really was a joke and it just misfired. Truly David that was all. THE TIDE WAS FAR OUT when David Bourne woke and the sun was bright on the beach and the sea was a dark blue. The hills showed green and new washed and the clouds had gone from the mountains. Catherine was still sleeping and he looked at her and watched her regular breathing and the sun on her face and thought, how strange that the sun on her eyes should not wake her. After he had taken a shower and brushed his teeth and shaved, he was hungry for breakfast but he pulled on a pair of shorts and a sweater and found his notebook and pencils and the sharpener and sat at the table by the window that looked out over the estuary of the river to Spain. He started to write and he forgot about Catherine and what he saw from the window and the writing went by itself as it did with him when he was lucky. He wrote it exactly and the sinister part only showed as the light feathering of a smooth swell on a calm day marking the reef beneath. When he had worked for a time, he looked at Catherine, still sleeping, her lips smiling now and the rectangle of sunlight from the open window falling across the brown of her body and lighting her dark face and tawny head against the rumpled white of the sheet and the unused pillow. It's too late to get breakfast now, he thought. I'll leave a note and go down to the cafe and get a cafe creme and something. But while he was putting his work away Catherine woke and came over to him as he was closing the suitcase and put her arms around him and kissed him on the back of his neck and said, I'm your lazy naked wife. What did you wake up for? I don't know. But tell me where you're going and I'll be there in five minutes. I'm going to the cafe to get some breakfast. Go ahead and I'll join you. You worked didn't you? Sure. Weren't you wonderful to after yesterday and everything. I'm so proud. Kiss me and look at us in the mirror on the bath room door. He kissed her and they looked into the full length mirror. It's so nice not to feel overdressed, she said. You be good and don't get in any trouble on your way to the cafe. Order me an oeuf au jambon too. Don't wait for me. I'm sorry I made you wait so long for breakfast. At the cafe he found the morning paper and the Paris papers of the day before and had his coffee and milk and the Bayonne ham with a big beautifully fresh egg that he ground coarse pepper over sparsely and spread a little mustard on before he broke the yolk. When Catherine had not come and her egg was in danger of getting cold he ate it too, swabbing the flat dish clean with a piece of the fresh baked bread. Here comes Madame, the waiter said. I'll bring another plat for her. She had put on a skirt and cashmere sweater and pearls and the toweled her head but combed it damp and straight and wet and the tawny color of her hair did not show to make the contrast with her incredibly darkened face. It's such a beautiful day, she said. I'm sorry to be late. Where are you dressed for? Biarritz. I thought I'd drive in. Do you want to come? You want to go alone. Yes, she said. 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No, don't. Yes. And you'll like it. Let me go along and keep you from doing anything crazy. 'No. It's better if I do it alone. I'll be back in the afternoon. And don't wait for lunch. David read the papers and then walked out through the town looking for chalets that might be for rent or for a part of town that might be good to live in and found the newly built up area pleasant but dull. He loved the view across the bay and the estuary to the Spanish side and the old gray stone of Fuenterrabia and shining white of the houses that spread out from it and the brown mountains with the blue shadows. He wondered why the storm had gone so quickly and thought it must have been only the northern edge of a storm that came in across the Bay of Biscay. Biscay was Vizcaya but that was the Basque province further down the coast well beyond San Sebastian. The moun tains that he saw beyond the roofs of the border town of Irun were in Guipuzcoa and beyond them would be Navarra and Navarra was Navarre. And what are we doing here, he thought, and what am I doing walking through a beach resort town looking at newly planted magnolias and bloody mimosas and watching for to-rent signs on phony Basque villas? You didn't work hard enough this morning to make your brain that stupid or are you just hung over from yesterday? You didn't work at all really. And you better soon because everything's going too fast and you're going with it and you'll be through before ever you know it. Maybe you're through now. All right. Don't start. At least you remember that much. And he walked on through the town, his vision sharpened by spleen and tempered by the ash beauty of the day.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[30]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7052.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-15 15:04:26</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[The young man worked the fish past the terrace of the cafe and into the canal. He was swimming just under the surface but was still strong and the young man wondered if they would take him all the way up the canal through the length of the town. There were many other people now and as they went by the hotel the girl saw them out of the window and shouted, Oh what a wonderful fish! Wait for me! Wait for me! She had seen the fish clearly from above and his length and the shine of him in the water and her husband with the bamboo pole bent almost double and the procession of people following. When she got down to the canal bank and, running, caught up with the people, the procession had stopped. The waiter was in the water at the edge of the canal and her husband was guiding the fish slowly against the bank where there was a clump of weeds growing. The fish was on the surface now and the waiter bent down and brought his hands together from either side and then lifted the fish with his thumbs in both his gills and moved up the bank of the canal with him. He was a heavy fish and the waiter held him high against his chest with the head under his chin and the tail flopping against his thighs. Several men were pounding the young man on the back and putting their arms around him and a woman from the fish market kissed him. Then the girl had her arms around him and kissed him and he said, Did you see him? Then they all went over to see him laid out on the side of the road silver as a salmon and dark gunmetal shining on his back. He was a handsome beautifully built fish with great live eyes and he breathed slowly and brokenly. What is he? A loup, he said. That's a sea bass. They call them bar too. They're a wonderful fish. This is the biggest one I've ever seen. The waiter, whose name was Andre, came over and put his arms around David and kissed him and then he kissed the girl. Madame, it is necessary, he said. It is truly necessary. No one ever caught such a fish on such tackle. We better have him weighed, David said. They were at the cafe now. The young man had put the tackle away, after the weighing, and washed up and the fish was on a block of ice that had come in the camion from Nimes to ice the mackerel catch. The fish had weighed a little over fifteen pounds. On the ice he was still silver and beautiful but the color on his back had changed to gray. Only his eyes still looked alive. The mackerel fishing boats were coming in now and the women were unloading the shining blue and green and silver mackerel from the boats into baskets and carrying the heavy baskets on their heads to the fish house. It was a very good catch and the town was busy and happy. What are we going to do with the big fish? the girl asked. They're going to take him in and sell him, the young man said. He's too big to cook here and they say it would be wicked to cut him up. Maybe he'll go right up to Paris. He'll end in some big restaurant. Or somebody very rich will buy him. He was so beautiful in the water, she said. And when Andre held him up. I couldn't believe him when I saw him out of the window and you with your mob following you. We'll get a small one for us to eat. They're really wonderful. A small one ought to be grilled with butter and with herbs. They're like striped bass at home. I'm excited about the fish, she said. Don't we have wonder ful simple fun? They were hungry for lunch and the bottle of white wine was cold and they drank it as they ate the celery remoulade and the small radishes and the home pickled mushrooms from the big glass jar. The bass was grilled and the grill marks showed on the silver skin and the butter melted on the hot plate. There was sliced lemon to press on the bass and fresh bread from the bakery and the wine cooled their tongues of the heat of the fried potatoes. It was good light, dry, cheerful unknown white wine and the restaurant was proud of it. We're not great conversationalists at meals, the girl said. Do I bore you, darling? The young man laughed. Don't laugh at me, David. I wasn't. No. You don't bore me. I'd be happy looking at you if you never said a word. He poured her another small glass of the wine and filled his own. I have a big surprise. I didn't tell you, did I? the girl said. What sort of surprise? Oh it's very simple but it's very complicated. Tell me. No. You might like it and maybe you couldn't stand it. It sounds too dangerous. It's dangerous, she said. But don't ask me. I'm going up to the room if I may. The young man paid for the lunch and drank the wine that was left in the bottle. Then he went upstairs. The girl's clothes were folded on one of the Van Gogh chairs and she was waiting for him in the bed with the sheet over her. Her hair was spread out over the pillow and her eyes were laughing and he lifted the sheet and she said, Hello, darling. Did you have a nice lunch? Afterwards they lay together with his arm under her head and were happy and lazy and he felt her turn her head from side to side and stroke it against his cheek. It felt silky and barely roughened from the sun and the sea. Then with her hair all forward over her face so it touched him as her head moved she started to play with him lightly and exploringly and then with delight and she said, You do love me, don't you? He nodded and kissed the top of her head and then turned her head and held it and kissed her lips. Oh, she said. Oh. A long time later they were lying each holding the other close and she said, And you love me just the way I am? You're sure. Yes, he said. So much yes. Because I'm going to be changed. No, he said. No. Not changed. I'm going to, she said. It's for you. It's for me too. I won't pretend it's not. But it will do something to you. I'm sure but I shouldn't say it. I like surprises but I like everything the way it is just now at this minute. Then maybe I shouldn't do it, she said. Oh I'm sad. It was such a wonderful dangerous surprise. I thought about it for days and I didn't decide until this morning. If it's something you really want. It is, she said. And I'm going to do it. You've liked every thing we've done so far haven't you? Yes. All right. She slipped out of bed and stood straight with her long brown legs and her beautiful body tanned evenly from the far beach where they swam without suits. She held her shoulders back and her chin up and she shook her head so her heavy tawny hair slapped around her cheeks and then bowed forward so it all fell forward and covered her face. 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I'll come too. No. I have to go alone. It's about the surprise. She kissed him goodbye and went down and he watched her mount her bicycle and go up the road riding smoothly and easily, her hair blowing in the wind.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[29]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7051.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-3 15:37:24</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[THEY WERE LIVING at le Grau du Roi then and the hotel was on a canal that ran from the walled city of Aigues Mortes straight down to the sea. They could see the towers of Aigues Mortes across the low plain of the Camargue and they rode there on their bicycles at some time of nearly every day along the white road that bordered the canal. In the evenings and the mornings when there was a rising tide sea bass would come into it and they would see the mullet jumping wildly to escape from the bass and watch the swelling bulge of the water as the bass attacked. A jetty ran out into the blue and pleasant sea and they fished from the jetty and swam on the beach and each day helped the fishermen haul in the long net that brought the fish up onto the long sloping beach. They drank aperitifs in the cafe on the corner facing the sea and watched the sails of the mackerel fishing boats out in the Gulf of Lions. It was late in the spring and the mackerel were running and fishing people of the port were very busy. It was a cheerful and friendly town and the young couple liked the hotel, which had four rooms upstairs and a restaurant and two billiard tables downstairs facing the canal and the light house. The room they lived in looked like the painting of Van Gogh's room at Arles except there was a double bed and two big windows and you could look out across the water and the marsh and sea meadows to the white town and bright beach of Palavas. They were always hungry but they ate very well. They were hungry for breakfast which they ate at the cafe, ordering brioche and cafe au lait and eggs, and the type of preserve that they chose and the manner in which the eggs were to be cooked was an excitement. They were always so hungry for breakfast that the girl often had a headache until the coffee came. But the coffee took the headache away. She took her coffee without sugar and the young man was learning to remember that. On this morning there was brioche and red raspberry preserve and the eggs were boiled and there was a pat of butter that melted as they stirred them and salted them lightly and ground pepper over them in the cups. They were big eggs and fresh and the girl's were not cooked quite as long as the young man's. He remembered that easily and he was happy with his which he diced up with the spoon and ate with only the flow of the butter to moisten them and the fresh early morning texture and the bite of the coarsely ground pepper grains and the hot coffee and the chickory-fragrant bowl of cafe au lait. The fishing boats were well out. They had gone out in the dark with the first rising of the breeze and the young man and the girl had wakened and heard them and then curled together under the sheet of the bed and slept again. They had made love when they were half awake with the light bright outside but the room still shadowed and then had lain together and been happy and tired and then made love again. Then they were so hungry that they did not think they would live until breakfast and now they were in the cafe eating and watching the sea and the sails and it was a new day again. What are you thinking? the girl asked. Nothing. You have to think something. I was just feeling. How? ''Happy. But I get so hungry, she said. Is it normal do you think? Do you always get so hungry when you make love? When you love somebody. Oh, you know too much about it, she said. I don't care. I love it and we don't have to worry about any thing do we? Nothing. What do you think we should do? I don't know, he said. What do you? I don't care at all. If you'd like to fish I should write a letter or maybe two and then we could swim before lunch. To be hungry? Don't say it. I'm getting hungry already and we haven't finished breakfast. We can think about lunch. And then after lunch? We'll take a nap like good children. That's an absolutely new idea, she said. Why have we never thought of that? I have these flashes of intuition, he said. I'm the inventive type. I'm the destructive type, she said. And I'm going to destroy you. They'll put a plaque up on the wall of the building outside the room. I'm going to wake up in the night and do something to you that you've never even heard of or imagined. I was going to last night but I was too sleepy. You're too sleepy to be dangerous. Don't lull yourself into any false security. Oh darling let's have it hurry up and be lunch time. They sat there in their striped fishermen's shirts and the shorts they had bought in the store that sold marine supplies, and they were very tan and their hair was streaked and faded by the sun and the sea. Most people thought they were brother and sister until they said they were married. Some did not believe that they were married and that pleased the girl very much. In those years only a very few people had ever come to the Mediterranean in the summer time and no one came to le Grau du Roi except a few people from Nimes. There was no casino and no entertainment and except in the hottest months when people came to swim there was no one at the hotel. People did not wear fishermen's shirts then and this girl that he was married to was the first girl he had ever seen wearing one. She had bought the shirts for them and then had washed them in the basin in their room at the hotel to take the stiffness out of them. They were stiff and built for hard wear but the washings softened them and now they were worn and softened enough so that when he looked at the girl now her breasts showed beautifully against the worn cloth. No one wore shorts either around the village and the girl could not wear them when they rode their bicycles. But in the village it did not matter because the people were very friendly and only the local priest disapproved. But the girl went to mass on Sunday wearing a skirt and a long-sleeved cashmere sweater with her hair covered with a scarf and the young man stood in the back of the church with the men. They gave twenty francs which was more than a dollar then and since the priest took up the collection himself their attitude toward the church was known and the wearing of shorts in the village was regarded as an eccentricity by foreigners rather than an attempt against the morality of the ports of the Camargue. The priest did not speak to them when they wore shorts but he did not denounce them and when they wore trousers in the evening the three of them bowed to each other. I'll go up and write the letters, the girl said and she got up and smiled at the waiter and went out of the cafe. Monsieur is going to fish? the waiter asked when the young man, whose name was David Bourne, called him over and paid him. I think so. How is the tide? This tide is very good, the waiter said. I have some bait if you want it. I can get some along the road. No. Use this. They're sandworms and there are plenty. Can you come out? I'm on duty now. But maybe I can come out and see how you do. You have your gear? It's at the hotel. Stop by for the worms. At the hotel the young man wanted to go up to the room and see the girl but instead he found the long, jointed bamboo pole and the basket with his fishing gear behind the desk where the room keys hung and went back out into the brightness of the road and on down to the cafe and out onto the glare of the jetty. The sun was hot but there was a fresh breeze and the tide was just starting to ebb. He wished that he had brought a casting rod and spoons so that he might cast out across the flow of the water from the canal over the rocks on the far side but instead he rigged his long pole with its cork and quill float and let a sandworm float gently along at a depth where he thought fish might be feeding. He fished for some time with no luck and watched the mackerel boats tacking back and forth out on the blue sea and the shadows the high clouds made on the water. Then his float went under in a sharp descent with the line angling stiffly and he brought the pole up against the pull of a fish that was strong and driving wildly and making the line hiss through the water. He tried to hold it as lightly as he could and the long pole was bent to the breaking point of the line and trace by the fish which kept trying to go toward the open sea. The young man walked with him on the jetty to ease the strain but the fish kept pulling so that as he drove a quarter of the rod was forced under water. The waiter had come from the cafe and was very excited. He was talking by the young man's side saying, Hold him. Hold him. Hold him as softly as you can. He'll have to tire. Don't let him break. Soft with him. Softly. Softly. There was no way the young man could be softer with him except to get into the water with the fish and that did not make sense as the canal was deep. If I could only walk along the bank with him, he thought. But they had come to the very end of the jetty. More than half the pole was under water now. Just hold him softly, the waiter pleaded. It's a strong trace. The fish bored deep, ran, zig-zagged and the long bamboo pole bent with his weight and his rapid, driving strength. Then he came up thrashing at the surface and then was down again and the young man found that although the fish felt as strong as ever the tragic violence was lessened and now he could be led around the end of the jetty and up the canal. Softly does it, the waiter said. Oh softly now. Softly for us all. Twice more the fish forced his way out to the open sea and twice the young man led him back and now he was leading him gently along the jetty toward the cafe. How is he? asked the waiter. He's fine but we've beaten him. Don't say it, the waiter said. Don't say it. We must tire him. Tire him. Tire him. 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My God no. Just easy, easy, easy. Softly, softly, softly, the waiter said.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[4]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7050.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-15 8:25:26</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[It's a wonder you weren't all drunkards. Like the French, he said and they argued French working class drinking habits, on which they both agreed, and she teased him that his women had left him. He said that he was tired of them both and wasn't she ready to take their place now? No, she said, he would have to show more evidence he was a man before he roused a woman of the Midi. He said he was going into Cannes where he could get a proper meal and would come back like a lion and let the women of the south take care. They kissed affectionately with the kiss of the favoured client and the brave femme and then David went in to take a shower, to shave and to change. The shower made him feel good and he was cheered up from talking to Madame. I wonder what she would say if she knew what it was all about, he thought. Things had changed since the war and both Monsieur and Madame had a sense of style and they wished to move with the change. We three clients are all de gens tres bien. So long as it pays and isn't violent there is nothing wrong with it. The Russians are gone, the British are beginning to be poor, the Germans are ruined, and now there is this disregard of the established rules which can very well be the salvation of the whole coast. We are pioneers in opening up the summer season which is still regarded as madness. He looked at his face in the mirror with one side shaved. Still, he said to i66 167 himself, you don't need to be such a pioneer as not to shave the other side. And then he noted with careful critical distaste the almost silvery whiteness of his hair. He heard the Bugatti come up the long slope and turn onto the gravel and stop. Catherine came into the room. She had a scarf over her head and sunglasses on and she took them off and kissed David. He held her close and said, How are you? Not so good, she said. It was too hot. She smiled at him and put her forehead on his shoulder. I'm glad I'm home. He went out and made a Tom Collins and brought it in to Catherine who had finished a cold shower. She took the tall cold glass and sipped from it and then held it against the smooth dark skin of her belly. She touched the glass to the tips of each of her breasts so they came erect and then took a long sip and held the cold glass against her belly again. This is wonderful, she said. He kissed her and she said, Oh, that's nice. I'd forgotten about that. I don't see any good reason why I should give that up. Do you? Well, I haven't, she said. I'm not going to turn you over to someone else prematurely. That was a silly idea. Get dressed and come on out, David said. No. I want to have fun with you like in the old days. How? You know. To make you happy. How happy? This. Be careful, he said. Please. All right, if you want. The way it was in Grau du Roi the first time it ever happened? 7 If you want. Thank you for giving me this time because— Don't talk. It's just like Grau du Roi but it's lovelier because it's in the daytime and we love each other more because I'd gone away. Please let's be slow and slow and slow— Yes slow. Are you— Yes. Are you really? Yes if you want. Oh I want so much and you are and I have. Please be slow and let me keep it. You have it. Yes I do. I do have it. Oh yes I do. I do. Please come now with me. Please can you now— They lay on the sheets and Catherine with her brown leg over his, touching his instep lightly with her toes, rested on her elbows and lifted her mouth from his and said, Are you glad to have me back? You, he said. You did come back. You never thought I would. Yesterday it was all gone and everything was over and now here I am. Are you happy? Yes. Do you remember when all I Wanted was to be so dark and now I'm the darkest white girl in the world. And the blondest. You're just like ivory. That's how I always think. You're smooth as ivory too. I'm so happy and I want to have fun with you the way we always had. But mine is mine. I'm not going to turn you over to her the way I was doing and keep nothing. That's over. It's not awfully clear, David said. But you really are fine again, aren't you? I really am, Catherine said. I'm not gloomy or morbid or pitiful. You're nice and lovely. It's all wonderful and changed. We're going to take turns, Catherine said. You're mine today and tomorrow. And you're Marita's the next two days. My God, I'm hungry. This is the first time I've been hungry in a week. When David and Catherine came back from swimming in the late afternoon they drove into Cannes for the Paris papers and then sat at the cafe and read and talked before they came home. After David had changed he found Marita sitting at the bar reading. He recognized the book as his own. The one she had not read. Did you have a good swim? she asked. Yes. We swam a long way out. Did you dive from the high rocks? I'm glad of that, she said. How is Catherine? More cheerful. Yes. 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Are you all right? Very well. I'm reading this book. How is it? I can't tell you till day after tomorrow. I'm reading very slowly to make it last. What's that? The pact? I suppose so. But I wouldn't worry very much about the book nor how I feel about you. It's not changed. All right, David said. But I missed you very badly this morning.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[2]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7049.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-15 8:21:26</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Be careful you don't fuck it up, his father had said to him and looked at him flatly. That's one thing, David had thought. He's not stupid. He knows all about it now and he will never trust me again. That's good. I don't want him to because I'll never ever tell him or anybody anything again never anything again. Never ever never. That was where he stopped in the hunt that morning. He knew he did not have it right yet. He had not gotten the enormity of the skull as they had come onto it in the forest nor the tunnels underneath it in the earth that the beetles had made and that had been revealed like deserted galleries or catacombs when the elephant had moved the skull. He had not made the great length of the whitened bones nor how the elephant's tracks had moved around the scene of the killing and how following them he had been able to see the elephant as he had moved and then had been able to see what the elephant had seen. He had not gotten the great width of the one elephant trail that was a perfect road through the forest nor the worn smooth rubbing trees nor the way other trails intersected so that they were like the map of the Metro in Paris. He had not made the light in the forest where the trees came together at their tops and he had not clarified certain things that he must make as they were then, not as he recalled them now. The distances did not matter since all dis tances changed and how you remembered them was how they were. But his change of feeling toward Juma and toward his father and toward the elephant was complicated by the exhaustion that had bred it. Tiredness brought the beginning of under standing. The understanding was beginning and he was realizing it as he wrote. But the dreadful true understanding was all to come and he must not show it by arbitrary statements of rhetoric but by remembering the actual things that had brought it. Tomorrow he would get the things right and then go on. He put the cahiers of manuscript away in the suitcase and locked it and came out the door of his room and walked along the front of the hotel to where Marita was reading. Do you want breakfast? she asked. I think I'd like a drink. Let's have it at the bar, she said. It's cooler. They went in and sat down on stools and David poured from the Haig Pinch bottle into a glass and filled it up with cold Perrier. What became of Catherine? She left very happy and gay. And how are you? Happy and shy and rather quiet. Too shy for me to kiss you? They held each other and he could feel himself start to be whole again. He had not known just how greatly he had been divided and separated because once he started to work he wrote from an inner core which could not be split nor even marked nor scratched. He knew about this and it was his strength since all the rest of him could be riven. They sat at the bar while the boy laid the table and the first coolness of fall was in the breeze from the sea and then sitting at the table under the pines they felt it again as they ate and drank. This cool breeze comes all the way from Kurdistan, David said. The equinoctial storms will be coming soon. They won't come today, the girl said. We don't have to worry about them today. There hasn't been a blow of any kind since when we met in Cannes at the cafe. Can you still remember things that long ago? It seems further away than the war. I had the war the last three days, the girl said. I just left it this morning. 182 183 . . I never think about it, David said. Now I've read it, Marita told him, but I don't understand about you. You never made clear what you believed. He filled her glass and then refilled his own. I didn't know until afterwards, he said. So I didn't try to act as though I did. I suspended thinking about it while it was happening. I only felt and saw and acted and thought tactically. That's why it's not a better book. Because I wasn't more intelligent. It is a very good book. The flying parts are wonderful and the feeling for the other people and for the planes themselves. I'm good on other people and on technical and tactical things, David said. I don't mean to talk wet or to brag. But, Marita, nobody knows about himself when he is really involved. Yourself isn't worth considering. It would be shameful at the time. But afterwards you know. Sure. Sometimes. Can I read the narrative? David poured wine in the glasses again. How much did she tell you? She said she told me everything. She tells things very well you know. I'd rather you didn't read it, David said. All it would do is make trouble. I didn't know there would be you when I wrote it and I can't help her telling you things but I don't have to have you read about them too. Then I mustn't read it? I wish you wouldn't. I don't want to give you orders. 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She let you read it? Yes. She said I should. God damn her. She didn't do it to do wrong. It was when she was so worried. So you read it all? Yes. It's wonderful. It's so much better than the last book and now the stories are so much better than it or than anything. What about the Madrid part? He looked at her and she looked up at him and then moistened her lips and did not look away and she said very carefully, I knew all about that because I'm just the way you are. When they were lying together Marita said, You don't think about her when you make love to me? No, stupid. You don't want me to do her things? Because I know them all and I can do them. Stop talking and just feel.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[1]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/juzik520/archives/2010/7048.html</link>
<author>juzik520</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-3 15:37:24</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[I can do them better than she can. Stop talking. Don't think you have to— Don't talk. But you don't have to— No one has to but we are— They lay holding each other close and hard and then gently finally and Marita said, I have to go away but I'll be back. Please sleep for me. She kissed him and when she came back he was asleep. He had meant to wait for her but he had fallen asleep while he waited. She lay down by him and kissed him and when he did not wake she lay by him very quietly and tried to sleep too. But she was not sleepy and she kissed him very softly again and then commenced to play with him very gently while she pushed her breasts against him. He stirred in his sleep and she lay now with her head down below his chest and played softly and searchingly making small intimacies and discoveries. It was a long cool afternoon and David slept and when he 184 185 . woke Marita was gone and he heard the two girls' voices on the terrace. He dressed and unbolted the door to his working room and then came out from the door of that room onto the flagstones. There was no one on the terrace except the waiter who was taking in the tea things and he found the girls in the bar. Chapter Twenty-three THE TWO GIRLS were both sitting at the bar with a bottle of Perrier-Jouet in a bucket with ice and they both looked fresh and lovely. It's just like meeting an ex-husband, Catherine said. It makes me feel very sophisticated. She had never looked gayer or more lovely. I must say it agrees with you. She looked at David in mock appraisal. Do you think he's all right? Marita said. She looked at David and blushed. And well you might blush, Catherine said. Look at her, David. She looks very well, David said. So do you. She looks about sixteen, Catherine said. She said she told you about reading the narrative. I think you should have asked me, David said. I know I should, Catherine said. But I started to read it for myself and then it was so interesting I thought Heiress ought to read it too. I'd have said no. . . But the point is, Catherine said, if he ever says no about anything, Marita, just keep right on. It doesn't mean a thing. I don't believe it, Marita said. She smiled at David. That's because he hasn't written the narrative up to date. When he does you'll find out. I'm through with the narrative, David said. That's dirty, Catherine said. That was my present and our project. You must write it, David, the girl said. You will won't you? She wants to be in it, David, Catherine said. And it will be so much better when you have a dark girl too. David poured himself a glass of the champagne. He saw Marita look at him, a warning, and he said to Catherine, I'll go on with it when I finish the stories. What did you do with your day? I had a fine day. I made decisions and planned things. Oh God, David said. They're all straightforward plans, Catherine said. You don't have to groan about them. You've been doing just whatever you wanted to do all day and I was pleased. But I have a right to make a few plans. What sort of plans? David asked. His voice sounded very flat. First we have to start seeing about getting the book out. I'm going to have to have the manuscript typed up to where it is now and see about getting illustrations. I have to see the artists and make the arrangements. You've had a very busy day, David said. You know, don't you, that you don't get manuscripts typed until whoever writes them has gone over them and has them ready for typing? That isn't necessary because I only need a rough draft to show the artists. I see. And if I don't want it copied yet? Don't you want it brought out? I do. And someone has to get started on something practical. Who are the artists you thought up today? Different ones for different parts. Marie Laurencin, Pascen, Derain, Dufy and Picasso. For Christ sake, Derain. Can't you see a nice Laurencin of Marita and me in the car when we stopped the first time by the Loup on the way to Nice? Nobody's written that. Well write it then. It's certainly much more interesting and instructive than a lot of natives in a kraal or whatever you call it covered with flies and scabs in Central Africa with your drunken father staggering around smelling of sour beer and not knowing which ones of the little horrors he had fathered. There goes the ball game, David said. What did you say, David? Marita said. I said thank you very much for having lunch with me, David told her. Why don't you thank her for the rest of it? Catherine said. She really must have done something impressive to make you sleep as though you were dead until the absolute end of the afternoon. Thank her for that at least. Thank you for going swimming, David said to the girl. Oh did you swim? Catherine said. I'm glad you swam. We swam quite far, Marita said. And we had a very good lunch. Did you have a good lunch, Catherine? I think so, Catherine said. 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Where were you? Marita asked gently. Saint Raphael, Catherine said. I remember stopping there but I can't remember about lunch. I never notice when I eat by myself. But I'm quite sure I did have lunch there. I know I intended to. Was it nice driving back? Marita asked. It was such a cool lovely afternoon. I don't know, Catherine said. I didn't notice. I was think ing about making the book and getting it started. We have to get 188 189 . . it started. I don't know why David started to be difficult the moment I commenced to put a little order into it. The whole thing has dragged along in such a haphazard way that I was suddenly ashamed of all of us. Poor Catherine, Marita said. But now that you have it all planned you must feel better. I do, Catherine said. I felt so happy when I came in. I knew I'd made you happy and I'd accomplished something prac tical too and then David made me feel like an idiot or a leper. I can't help it if I'm practical and sensible. I know, Devil, David said. I just didn't want to get the work mixed up. But it's you who mixed it up, Catherine said. Can't you see? Jumping back and forth trying to write stories when all you had to do was keep on with the narrative that meant so much to all of us. It was going so well too and we were just coming to the most exciting parts. Someone has to show you that the stories are just your way of escaping your duty.]]></description>
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<title><![CDATA[043]]></title>
<link>http://www.dafen.net/blog/youhua/liceping/archives/2010/7047.html</link>
<author>liceping</author>
<pubDate>2010-3-12 16:55:38</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[Then he steered straight in on his bearing. He was tempted not to look at the banks but to push it straight through. But then he knew that was one of the things of too much pride Ara had spoken of and he piloted carefully on the starboard bank and made his turn to starboard when it came by the banks and not by the second bearing that he had. It was like running in the regular streets of a new subdivision and the tide was racing in. It came in brown at first, then pure and clean. Just before he came into the part that he thought of as the turning basin where he planned to anchor, he heard Willie shout, ¨Feesh! Feesh!!Looking astern, he saw a tarpon shaking himself high in the sun. His mouth was open and he was huge and the sun shone on his silvered scales and on the long green whip of his dorsal fin. He shook himself desperately in the sun and came down in a splash of water. S?balo,Antonio called up disgustedly. Worthless s?balo,the Basques said. Can I play him, Tom?Henry asked. ¨Id like to catch him even if he is no good to eat. Take him from Antonio if Willie hasnt got him. Tell Antonio to get the hell forward. Im going to anchor. The excitement and the leaping of the big tarpon continued astern, with no one paying attention to it except to grin, while they anchored. Do you want to put out another?Thomas Hudson called forward. His mate shook his head. When they swung well to the anchor, his mate came up on the bridge. Shell hold in anything, Tom,he said. ¨Any kind of a squall. Anything. And it doesnt make any difference how she swings, we cant have any motion. What time will we get the squalls? After two,his mate said, looking at the sky. Get the dinghy over,Thomas Hudson said. ¨And give me an extra can of gas with the outboard. We have to get the hell going. Whos going with you? Just Ara and Willie and I. I want her to travel fast. X IN THE DINGHY THE THREE OF THEM had their raincoats wrapped around the ni?os. These were the Thompson submachine guns in their full-length sheep-wool cases. The cases were cut and sewn by Ara, who was not a tailor, and Thomas Hudson had impregnated the clipped wool on the inside with a protective oil which had a faintly carbolic smell. It was because the guns nestled in their sheep-lined cradles, and because the cradles swung when they were strapped open inside the branch of the flying bridge, that the Basques had nicknamed them ¨little children. Give us a bottle of water,Thomas Hudson said to his mate. When Antonio brought it, heavy and cold with the wide, screw-on top, he passed it to Willie, who stowed it forward. Ara loved to steer the outboard and he was in the stern. Thomas Hudson was in the center and Willie crouched in the bow. Ara headed her straight in for the key and Thomas Hudson watched the clouds piling up over the land. As they came into the shallow water, Thomas Hudson could see the grayish humps of conches bulging from the sand. Ara leaned forward to say, ¨Do you want to look at the beach, Tom? Maybe wed better before the rain. Ara ran the dinghy ashore, tilting his motor up just at the last rush. The tide had undercut the sand to make a little channel at the point and he drove the boat in, slanting her up onto the sand. Home again,Willie said. ¨Whats this bitchs name? Ant?n. Not Ant?n Grande or Ant?n Chico or Ant?n El Cabr?n? Just Ant?n. You take it up to that point to the eastward and then keep going. Well pick you up. Ill work along this beach fast and Ara will leave the dinghy down somewhere past the next point and work on ahead. Ill pick him up in the dinghy and well come back around for you. Willie had his ni?o wrapped in his raincoat and put it on his shoulder. If I find any Krauts, can I kill them? The Colonel said all but one,Thomas Hudson said. ¨Try to save a smart one. Ill give them all IQ tests before I open up. Give yourself one. Mines goddam low or I wouldnt be here,Willie said, and he set out. He walked contemptuously and he watched the beach and the country ahead as carefully as a man could watch. Thomas Hudson told Ara in Spanish what they were going to do and then shoved the dinghy off. He started down the beach with his ni?o under his arm and he felt the sand between his bare toes. Ahead, the dinghy was rounding the small point. He was glad that he had come ashore and he walked as fast as he could go and still check the beach. It was a pleasant beach and he had no forebodings about it as he had had earlier in the day on the sea. It was spooky this morning, he thought. Maybe it was just the calm. Ahead he could see the clouds still building up. But nothing had started to come out. There were no sand flies now in the hot sun and no mosquitoes and ahead of him he saw a tall white heron standing looking down in the shallow water with his head, neck, and beak poised. He had not flown when Ara passed with the dinghy. We have to search it carefully even though I do not believe there is anything here, he thought. They are becalmed today so we lose nothing and it would be criminal to overrun them. Why dont I know more about them? he thought. It is my own fault. I should have gone in and looked at the hut they built and at the tracks. I questioned Willie and Ara and they are both truly good. But I should have gone in myself. It is the repugnance that I feel toward meeting them, he thought. It is my duty and I want to get them and I will. But I have a sort of fellow death-house feeling about them. Do people who are in the death house hate each other? I dont believe they do unless they are insane. Just then the heron rose and flew further up the beach. Braking widely with his great wings, and then taking a few awkward steps, he landed. I am sorry I disturbed him, Thomas Hudson thought. He checked all of the beach above high tide. But there were no tracks except where one turtle had crawled twice. She had made a wide track to the sea and back and a wallowing depression where she had laid. I havent time to dig for the eggs, he thought. The clouds were beginning to darken and to move out. If they had been on this side of the key they certainly would have dug for them. He looked ahead but he could not see the dinghy because there was another curving point. He walked along just where the sand was firm from the dampness of the high tide and he saw the hermit crabs carrying their shells and the ghost crabs that slipped across the stretch of sand and into the water. To his right, in the shallow channel, he saw the grayness that a school of mullet made and their shadow on the sand bottom as they moved. He saw the shadow of a very big barracuda that was stalking the mullet and then he saw the lines of the fish, long, pale, and gray, and seeming not to move. He walked steadily and soon he was past the fish and was coming up on the heron again. Ill see if I can pass him without making him fly, he thought. But just when he was coming almost even with the heron, the school of mullet burst from the water jumping stiffly, big-eyed and blunt-headed, silvery in the sun but not beautiful. Thomas Hudson turned to watch them and to try to see the barracuda who was cutting into them. He could not see the predatory fish; only the wild leaping of the frightened mullet. Then he saw that the school was re-formed into a gray moving mass and when he turned his head the heron was gone. He saw him flying with his white wings over the green water and ahead was the yellow sand beach and the line of the trees along the point. The clouds were beginning to darken behind Romano and he walked faster to round the point and see where Ara had left the dinghy. Walking faster gave him an erection and he thought there cant be any Krauts around. That wouldnt happen if there were any Krauts around. I dont know, he thought. It could happen if you were wrong enough and didnt know it. At the end of the point there was a patch of bright white sand and he thought, Id like to lie down here. This would be a good place. Then he saw the dinghy at the end of the long beach and he thought, the hell with it. Ill sleep tonight and I will love the air mattress or the deck. I might as well love the deck. We have been around together long enough to get married. There is probably a lot of talk about you and the flying bridge now, he thought. You ought to do right by her. And all you do is step on her and stand on her. What sort of a way is that to act? And spill cold tea on her, too. Thats not nice. What are you saving her for anyway? To die on her? She would certainly appreciate that. Walk on her, stand on her, and die on her. Treat her really nice. One thing practical you can do now is cut out this crap and get this beach checked and pick up Ara. He walked on down the beach and he tried not to think at all but only to notice things. He knew his duty very well and he had tried never to shirk it. But today he had come ashore when someone else could have done it just as well, but when he stayed aboard and they found nothing, he felt guilty. He watched everything. But he could not keep from thinking. Maybe Willies side is hotter, he thought. Maybe Ara will have hit something. I know damn well this is where I would come if I were they. It is the first good place. They might have passed it and gone straight on. Or they might have turned in between Pared?n and Cruz. But I dont believe they would because somebody would see them from the light and they never could get in and through there at night, guide or no guide. I think they will have gone further down. Maybe we will find them down by Coco. Maybe well find them right in behind here. Theres another key that we ought to work out. I must remember that they are always working on the chart. That is, unless they picked up a fisherman here. I havent seen any smoke from anybody burning charcoal. Well, I am glad we will get this key worked out before the rain. I love doing it, he thought. I just dont like the end. He shoved off the dinghy and stepped into her, washing the sand off his feet as he got in. He stowed the ni?o, in its rubber coat, where he could reach it and started the motor. He had no love for the outboard as Ara had and he never started it without remembering blowing out and sucking out clogged fuel lines and remembering shorted plugs and other delights of the small motor. But Ara never had ignition trouble. When the motor misfunctioned, he regarded it as a chess player might admire a brilliant move on the part of his opponent. Thomas Hudson steered along the beach but Ara was far ahead and he could not see him. He must be halfway to Willie, he thought. But when he saw him he was nearly to the mangrove bay where the sand stopped and the mangroves grew heavy and green into the water, their roots showing like tangled brown sticks. Then he noticed the mast sticking up out of the mangroves. It was all he could see. But he could see Ara was lying behind a small sand dune so that he could just see over the top. He could feel his scalp prickle as it does when you meet a car coming fast, suddenly, on the wrong side of the road. But Ara heard the motor and turned his head, and waved him in. Thomas came in on a tangent behind Ara. The Basque came aboard carrying his raincoated ni?o, barrel first, over the right shoulder of his old striped beach shirt. He looked pleased. 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Is it one of the boats? Sure,Ara said. ¨But Im sure its abandoned. Its going to rain, Tom. Did you see anything? Nothing. Me either. Its a nice key. I found an old trail to water. But it wasnt used. Theres water on Willies side, too. Theres Willie,Ara said. He was sitting on the sand. His legs were drawn up and his ni?o was in his lap. Thomas Hudson ran the dinghy in to him. Willie looked at them, his black hair down over his forehead and wet with sweat and his good eye blue and mean. Where you two fuck-offs been?he asked. When were they here, Willie? Yesterday by the turds,Willie said. ¨Or should I say their excrement? How many? Eight that could execremenate and three of these with the bubbleshits. What else? They got a guide or a pilot or whatever his rating is. The guide they had picked up was a fisherman who had a palm-thatched shelter and had been salting barracuda strips on a rack to sell them later to the Chinese who bought fish for the Chinese retail grocers who would sell the dried fish in their shops as codfish. The fisherman had salted and dried a good quantity of fish by the looks of the rack. Krauts eat em plenty codfish now on in,Willie said. What language is that? My own,Willie said. ¨Everybody has a private language around here, like Basque or something. You got an objection if I speak mine?]]></description>
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